I Don’t Want My Dog To Be A Robot

00:00 — Kati Peppe introduces Diamond K9 Dog Training and its e-collar approach to off-leash obedience…

Welcome to Off Leash and Unfiltered. Trigger warning. I'm Kati Peppe, delivering the truth in dog training.

Hey everybody. Welcome back to another episode of Off Leash and Unfiltered. I'm Kati Peppe, owner of Diamond K9 Dog Training in Biddeford, Maine. We do e-collar training for off-leash obedience and behavior modification. So helping you stop those nuisance behaviors or even dangerous behaviors. Um, we do lots of state of mind work and we also do puppy training. So that's who we are, that's what we do. And this podcast is here to share as much information as we can with you. Look, I'm rhyming today, <laugh>, um, I like to talk about things that I'm talking about with my clients day in and day out.

'Cause if that's what they need, then that's probably what other people need too. And we just wanna make that information, uh, as readily available as we can because it's hard to find, man. The internet is, uh, cluttered with crap, right? Lies, lies, lies, ignorance, um, judgment. So we're here to, uh, set the record straight for you, <laugh>. And today I wanna talk about something that I just got done talking about five minutes ago. No shit. Five minutes ago. I did a consultation with somebody, um, and they had a lot of great questions. And a couple of them are questions that come up again and again.

So good stuff to talk about.

If you have anything about your dog, your dog's behavior that you want to change, you're probably thinking about getting some dog training, like official dog training work done, right? Uh, maybe you're gonna do private sessions, maybe you're gonna do a board-and-train. People tend to get very on edge about board-and-train. And I mean, frankly, you should, like, you should do your research, right? Don't just send your dog to anybody. 'Cause you, the horror stories are out there for sure. Um, but it's a fantastic option if you use somebody reputable. Um, but here's what people worry about when they're thinking about doing a board-and-train.

First of all, everybody feels guilty. Everybody feels like a bad dog mom sending their dog off to boarding school to be tortured and imprisoned. <laugh>

Right? Um, but it's a wonderful gift. So having the wherewithal to acknowledge that you can't provide your dog with the training you need yourself is okay. Give yourself permission to do that. Trying to do it yourself out of guilt is, uh, selfish, frankly, right? So trying to do everything yourself when you know you can't is selfish because you know your results are gonna be subpar, right? And that's not true for everyone. I'm not saying everyone should do a board-and-train. I have plenty of successful private session clients, plenty, plenty, plenty. Um, but I also have clients that just get nowhere because they don't do it right?

03:00 — Kati warns owners against assuming busy schedules will ease enough to accommodate training practice.

And I know they didn't start out intending to not do it. Um, but they just figure they'll fit it in. They just figure they'll make it happen. And if that's you, that's a mistake. Don't do that. If your schedule is not, and you're lying to yourself telling you things will calm down, or after this happens, things will get easier. No, they won't. I'm here to tell you they won't, they will not get better. They will not get easier. Things will not slow down. That is not how life works.

So my life is bonkers and I have learned that it is always going to be bonkers. And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way anyway. It would be boring. But that's besides the point, okay? The point is, you've got these, these certain things going on and you think once you get to these deadlines or, um, you achieve these goals or, you know, whatever, that it should be smooth sailing again. But even if it is, it won't last because that's just not how it works. This is life. Things happen. Reality is chaotic. Things are coming at you.

So if your schedule is nuts, just acknowledge that it's nuts and consider the board-and-train option. Now, what do people worry about besides the fact that they feel guilty, um, sending their dog away for a board-and-train? People worry that their dog won't remember them. Let me tell you something, your dog will remember you. It is hands down, like one of the biggest thorns in my side that your dog doesn't forget you <laugh>.

Um, I'm half kidding there. But really, like, when the family, when the owners come back and we meet again for the dog to go home, that's the probably the hardest part of the training for most dogs, because they remember you. Dogs don't forget, dude, they don't forget. Okay? Your dog will remember you. So you don't have to worry about that. People worry that their dog won't be as lovable or affectionate after a board-and-train. So I wanna tell you what I've seen happen and what, what's been reported to me, um, by my clients, right?

06:00 — Kati reports that clients frequently describe their dogs as more affectionate after training.

Because that's a, these are firsthand accounts, um, of what I see day in and day out with the people I'm working with.

Nine out of 10 people will remark at some point that their dog seems more affectionate after the training. And I don't think that's an exaggerated amount, you know? But even if it is, even it's like 75%, it's a lot of people that without even being asked, I'm not asking people this. I'm not taking a poll. They just mention either in a future like text message after the training or at our follow-up appointment, people will say, you know, my dog seems almost more lovable, more affectionate, more snuggly. Um, I hear it all the time. And I think it just surprises people.

That's why they're remarking on it. They're surprised because they thought, you know, using a a mean e-collar, right? Having rules, no good rules, boundaries, consequences, having to punish their dog for things, um, having to correct their dog for things, right? Their dog was gonna be, um, mad at them or sad or, you know, whatever. They weren't expecting the opposite.

And by the way, the e-collar's not bad. And using corrections isn't bad. Um, I'm sure you know that if you've ever listened to me before, but they weren't expecting to see that produce a stronger, deeper bond with their dog. But that's what it does. That's what it does, guys, almost a hundred percent consistently. You develop a deeper bond with your dog, you get to know your dog better, you get to know them in a different way. You get to understand them better, but you just become more relevant. Um, you now have a deeper, more reliable way to communicate with them like you didn't have before.

You notice your dog checking in with you more. Um, they're just more tuned in. They're more engaged. Um, they know what you're thinking 'cause they know what you expect. It's like your dog can almost read your mind now.

Um, and it's so cool. And so I love it when I'm on a co a consultation and people ask me, you know, is my dogs are like, are they gonna remember me? And are they still gonna be lovable? Um, it's crazy wild to me because it should be the furthest thing from your mind. I mean, people don't know that, and I get that. But that's what we're seeing. That's what we're seeing day in and day out. And it's really cool. And I love that. I love that we can do that for people. We're not just, you know, stopping bad behaviors.

09:00 — Kati introduces owners’ concerns that training will turn their dogs into robots or break…

We're not just getting a dog to come back when they're called. We're actually really strengthening the bond people have with their dog, and it's just really, really awesome. Um, but kind of tying into that is the <laugh> the concern that their dog is going to turn into a robot.

So I get that one a lot too. Or, you know, if you wanna put it in an even worse way. And for some reason, when people ask me if their dog will be a robot, like, that doesn't bother me. I feel like that's a good question, <laugh>. But for whatever reason, um, when people say to me, well, I don't wanna break his spirit, that just rubs me the wrong frigging way. It just gets right under my skin. So if you, if you do a consultation with me, don't ask me that <laugh>, okay? Um, and I don't know why that's, it's just me being me.

I guess it's my problem. Um, I, and, and I don't know, I think the reason that bothers me so much is because I talked on a few episodes ago about a dog that had serious separation issues, um, and would potty in their kennel when the owners left and like would try to dig his way out and all that.

And after he went home from his board-and-train, he was doing phenomenal. But, you know, two, three weeks in he started, some of that started to creep back in. Um, and they were seeing that separation stuff again. And I know after doing our follow-up session, I know why that happened. Um, and it was because there were things about that dog's behavior before the board-and-train that they really liked that they were letting slide, right? Because it made them feel good. These were like interactive behaviors where the dog would like jump on them and, and touch them and hug them and, and all this stuff.

And not that your dog can't touch you, right? But this was a very specific be behavior unique to this dog. Um, and it, it was tied in with the neediness that this dog had, the codependency that this particular dog had, right?

So this doesn't necessarily go for everybody. This is individual dogs, individual cases, and we, we meet them all where they are and they're all different. But in this dog's case, that behavior was really tied in with the neediness. Um, but they liked it, right? So in their, in, in these people's minds, like that would be like the dog's spirit, right? So if you're gonna consider your dog's behavioral issues part of their spirit, then you're going to be fricking disappointed after the training, right? So if you have a dog that gets wildly over-aroused and excited when people come over and he tears around the house in circles and jumps up on people and like snaps at their face out of excitement, right?

And you're like, oh my God, this is a problem. I need to get, I need to get training. And then you get the training and your dog doesn't do that anymore because it's a problem.

And then you say, well, I don't wanna break his spirit, so I'm gonna let him do it. Well, you can't have it both fucking ways, okay? You gotta make up your mind. So no, we don't break dog spirits. That's ridiculous. Like, that is the biggest load of crap. And see, I get really charged <laugh> when we talk about that, um, because it's like you're taking the word spirit and you're basically encompassing all of their bad behaviors, right? So the dog can be happy to see people. That should be the spirit aspect, right? And if you invite the dog to be a little crazy and to play, that's fine most of the time for most dog, right?

But if you have a dog that just chooses to go wild and jump up on people or snap at their faces, like, you either want them to do that or you don't, right?

And so you have to kind of think about that ahead of time. It's like, well, if I stop this behavior, am I gonna feel like I crushed my dog's spirit? I mean, it's obviously the right thing to do, by the way, to stop that behavior because that is a potentially dangerous and annoying behavior. Like, I don't wanna go to someone's house with a dog doing that to me. Um, but I think sometimes that's the trap that people fall into is they're like, well, I know I need to stop these behaviors, but I don't really want to.

Right? But they won't say that. Instead, they just phrase it of, well, I don't wanna crush his spirit, or are we gonna break his spirit? Right? And I think that's why that question really ruffles my feathers so much is because a lot of times that indicates to me that they really don't wanna stop these behaviors. Like, that's what's really going on here.

14:00 — Kati distinguishes preserving personality from allowing unwanted behavior, explaining that owners can invite activities…

And so absolutely not. Like, good, proper training is not gonna break your dog's spirit. Like, we can't even change your dog's personality, really. Like, they are who they are and they always will be. Um, and for most dogs, like, if you wanna invite them to do things that we don't normally recommend doing with your dog, like, that's okay, but your dog just shouldn't take the agency to do it on their own. For instance, a lot of people like it when their dog jumps up and gives them a hug. And maybe that's fine when you invite it.

And this dog, by the way, was no exception. And we talked about that. Like, you can invite it, but if your dog chooses to do it on their own, that should be a correction. 'Cause you can't have your dog just walking around doing that to everybody whenever they want to.

All right? So it's like, it's a matter of you're making the decisions or they're making the decisions. And if you're gonna view you making the decisions as crushing your dog's spirit, well, then maybe dog training just isn't for you. Like, maybe <laugh>, maybe your dog should just stay outta control and you should just deal with the consequences. Not to be mean, but you can't have it both ways. Your dog will still be happy, dog can still have fun, your dog can still play, right? Your dog can pretty much do anything as long as you say it's okay first, right?

And that's not spirit-crushing. And if you think that it is, that indicates to me that there's something wrong with you <laugh>, okay? You're dealing with some kind of emotional stuff and you gotta sort through that. Um, because you want your dog to be safe. You want your dog to be reliable, you want your company, um, to feel respected when they come over to your house. Like, no one wants a dog like jumping all over them and giving them trouble, um, God forbid snapping in their face, um, which we see.

So, but no, a board, a proper board-and-train is not gonna crush your dog's, right? So when I think that, when I think of a dog who's had their spirit crushed, like, really to me what that means is like just outright abuse. Like, just beating the dog, right? Or turning the e-collar up to a hundred and ringing it like a doorbell randomly for no reason. Like, nobody does that. You'd have to be a lunatic. You'd have to be a lunatic, right? But just consequences, positive and negative consequences to properly shape behavior. It's not gonna change your dog's personality.

It's not gonna break their spirit. It's not gonna make them love you less. It's gonna make your dog the absolute best version of themselves.

But so on this consultation, I thought it was really a good question that the people asked, like, hey, I like to roughhouse with my dog. Is that something I'm still gonna be able to do? Like, this is a good question. Um, and the answer is probably, probably, right? I didn't hear any major red flags about this dog's behavior. So chances are, like, it's fine, right? But when you invite it. So your dog shouldn't just run up and muckle onto you, <laugh>, okay? So you make the rules in your house, you live with your dog really the way you want to, but you have to take into account your specific dog, their specific personality, their specific struggles.

17:00 — Kati explains that roughhousing may remain appropriate when invited, depending on the dog’s specific…

'Cause you have to do what's best for the dog.

So if you have a dog with severe behavioral issues, there might be some things you do with your dog that you shouldn't do, right? But it just depends on the dog. Like their particular dog doesn't sound bad. So I'm willing to bet you after I meet with the dog and I work with the dog, like roughhousing with their dog is probably fine as long as they invited it, right? So it's not that the things you love to do with your dog go out the window. As dog trainers, we're not all like anti-fun, anti-play, anti-dog in the bed.

It's just we want you to make the rules in your own home. That's it, right? And we want you to acknowledge that there might be behaviors that your dog does that are not healthy for them because of the things they struggle with personally, right?

So like if your dog has severe separation issues, you probably shouldn't spend six hours a day snuggling on the couch with them. That's gonna be counterproductive for you. You should probably cut that out for a little while and then maybe you can filter it in later, right? It just depends on the dog. And then maybe you have a dog that's just a sack of potatoes with no behavioral issues, doesn't give a crap if you leave the house. Hey, you wanna lay on the couch all day with your dog, go for it. But it depends on the dog, guys.

So I think you just need to be willing to think, how do I help my dog be the best version of himself and live with my dog, you know, the way that I envision it and acknowledge that there might be things that aren't quite the way you envision it, but most of the time it's fine. Depends on your dog, depends on their issues, depends on your lifestyle. Um, but most dogs that fall like in the middle of the spectrum with nothing like major going on, you're still gonna be able to do all that stuff you love.

Absolutely. Your dog's not gonna be a robot, right? But the other thing you gotta be careful of with that is when you say, "I don't want my dog to be a robot." It's like, well, robots do what they're told, right? You want your dog to do what they're told, right?

20:00 — Kati recommends asking trainers how suggested household changes support results and reintroducing restricted activities…

You just, you also want them to be able to enjoy themselves and maybe go have some freedom when you say it's okay. And like your dog will be able to do that. Totally. So those are the concerns that I see around, uh, e-collar training and especially board-and-trains. So hopefully that's helpful if you're thinking about getting some training. Um, but hey, if your trainer tells you, "You should probably make these changes here, here and here," trust them and do it <laugh>, trust them and do it. Ask them how, how is that tied? Not in a confrontational way, but ask them, how is that tied into our results?

Right? And maybe it'll help you understand better how things are all kind of glued together, right? And if you wanna separate things, it's better to do that over time than right away. You'll be more successful that way, right?

So if snuggling sort of nurtures separation anxiety, then we want to cut the snuggling out right now, right? And maybe filter it in slowly a little bit later, right? Because the anxiety and the snuggling are kind of glued together. You don't, you might not realize that, but they are, right? And so you, you gotta separate 'em for now and then you can probably filter the snuggling back in without pulling the anxiety back in. But it's a process and you gotta be willing to go through the process. But we don't break dog spirits around here. It's just a bunch of crap <laugh>.

Okay, guys, thanks for joining me today and I look forward for the next one.