Emotional Support Disaster

00:00 — Kati Peppe introduces Diamond K9 Dog Training’s e-collar training, off-leash obedience, and behavior modification…

Welcome to Off Leash and Unfiltered. Trigger warning. I'm Kati Peppe, delivering the truth in dog training.

Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Off Leash and Unfiltered. I'm Kati Peppe, owner of Diamond K9 Dog Training in Biddeford, Maine, and we specialize in e-collar training for off-leash obedience as well as behavior modification, um, dealing with a lot of reactivity, um, aggression, um, anxiety. We do lots of state of mind work, so that's kind of who we are and what we do. We also offer puppy training as well. Um, that's what we do and this, this podcast, um, is, um, sort of our way of reaching as many people as we can and just making as much information as available as we can because we know, um, the correct information, the honest information is just really hard to find on the internet.

Okay? So I know because I was that person, I was really struggling with my dog and it took me forever to find information that was truly helpful.

So these are things that I'm talking about, um, or that we're talking about with our hands-on clients day in and day out, um, because I know if it's what they need, it's probably what a lot of people out there need. And so that's the stuff we choose to talk about. And today I wanted to dive into, uh, emotional <laugh>, emotional support dogs, and not just technically emotional support dogs, but a lot of us kind of lay that burden on our, on our dogs, even if it's not their job, so to speak. So I have somebody who started private sessions recently with a dog who attacked another dog.

He also is very reactive toward and would presumably attack potentially people. Um, but when he attacked this dog, he got away from his owner, he attacked a dog, and, uh, the other dog's owner ended up getting bit somehow in the back, in the tailbone area and needed stitches. So, uh, serious, serious behavioral issues, obviously huge liability. And so she's come to us to help her get things back on track and under control.

Um, but what is unique about this case, and I say unique, and I don't think it really actually is, um, you know, 'cause like I said, I think even if people don't consider their dog an emotional support dog, they all kind of are <laugh>, right? We all, not we all, but most of us kind of lay that burden on our dog, whether it's intentional or unintentional. Um, but in this particular case, this dog, uh, the whole, I believe the whole reason she got the dog in the first place, which was years ago, was to be an emotional support dog for her.

Um, so she's had her own struggles in her own life, and this was something that she thought would help her a great deal, um, to deal with things that, you know, she had going on. And so, and I think there's some validity to that.

So this isn't for me to, you know, dog on <laugh>, no pun intended, to dog on people that want to have an emotional support dog. I, I don't necessarily think that that's a silly or, or bad thing. Um, I could see how that would be really helpful to somebody. I mean, I think evidence shows, I've heard that evidence shows that people live longer <laugh> when they have pets. Um, obviously we have therapy dogs that visit people in hospitals and nursing homes because it, it cheers people up and helps people have a better outlook and more positive outlook.

04:00 — Kati argues that emotional support dogs need suitable temperaments and discusses how owners’ emotions…

And I, I absolutely think there's some validity to that. And so I think having something like that in your own life probably does benefit people in some way. But just like a service dog needs to be cut from the right cloth, so does an emotional support dog, guys. Oh my gosh.

So, you know, if you do this dog training thing long enough, you start to see the effect of human emotions on the dog. Number one, because we project human emotions on the dog. Number two, because when we feel emotional, we behave a certain way around the dog. We touch the dog a lot. We coddle the dog a lot. You know, if we're dealing with our own traumatic, like, past experiences, we tend to clinging to the dog and express, you know, that sadness and neediness to the dog, right? We kind of Velcro ourselves to the dog and we're constantly stroking the dog and touching the dog, and we make the dog kind of our life.

And we're seeing that more and more. And not all dogs can handle that. So almost every dog that comes in here with serious behavioral issues, the owners need to cut way back on freedom and affection and fun, right?

It's not that they can't have any of that stuff, but it's like things are way outta balance, way outta whack. And I'm not saying that that's what caused it, that that's the only cause. It definitely is a factor. Um, but usually that is a big piece of the combination to getting things back on the right track, is helping people balance that relationship back out, right? So if your dog has those proclivities to be reactive or to be anxious or to be aggressive or any of those things, and you're just smothering this dog with love and affection, you're going to get the worst version of that dog.

And I know I say that all the time. I, I think that might have been what I talked about on my last one. Um, and it's true, it's true. But so imagine the devastation of somebody who, who gets a dog specifically for emotional support, and they're smothering that dog with love and affection and attention, and they're taking that dog everywhere with 'em, right?

Because that's what they got the dog for. Um, and then their dog starts attacking people, attacking dogs, right? Because of course, they get the worst version of that dog. And think about that devastation. Now, this dog has become this immense source of stress. Um, in, in a lot of cases, these people are being sued. They're in the middle of like a lawsuit. Um, you know, sometimes they don't have any money and they're being sued for like thousands and thousands of dollars, and it's just horrible. It's horrible. Uh, and it was unintentional, of course. Like no one intends to, you know, create a monster like this.

But like I said, if it's in there, it's in there. And then it's like adding vinegar to the baking soda, right? The vinegar didn't create the baking soda. The baking soda was already there. But in this case, you know, the affection, love, fun, freedom.

That's the vinegar. And you just add a bunch of that and you've got a volcano <laugh>, right? You've got an explosion. So, uh, not literally an explosion, but you know what I mean, you've got a pretty severe reaction. So we're seeing that, we're seeing that all the time. And in this case, I, I really believe that's kind of what, what these people are dealing with. And, and I think it's really common, even when you don't get your dog for the sake of emotional support. Like I said, we tend to, um, use our dogs in that fashion and cry on their shoulder and snuggle them when we feel down and pet them when we feel anxious.

08:00 — Kati cautions that dogs lacking stability may struggle with the emotional burdens owners place…

And ultimately they kind of pay the price for that. Um, because it can really, uh, dismantle things, like if your dog isn't actually super stable, um, it can really, really, it can really do a number, um, on their <laugh> on their behavior and their state of mind.

So generally speaking, I would say dogs really aren't designed to bear that kind of burden. They're just not. And so it's not that I have a problem with emotional support dogs. I think that you need, even though they're not given, you know, public access and the same, the same rights as, or the same sort of recognition as a service dog, you still need to give some very serious thought to, is this dog going to be a dog that's cut out to be a service dog? So you want, if you're going to do that, not a service dog, an emotional support dog.

If you're going to do that, please choose a dog. First of all, breed. You know, I don't wanna get into that argument right now, that's another episode. But breed matters, right? So the dog could potentially be any breed. Yes, that's true. Um, but if you want to have the biggest chance of success, you're probably gonna cut out the breeds, um, that tend toward more reactivity, more aggression, um, power breeds, guardian breeds.

Like those aren't the breeds that you probably want to be trying to turn into your emotional support dog, right? So right now we have someone doing sessions, uh, with a wonderful Labrador who's actually going to be a service dog, but this is a dog for, he's gonna be a service dog for a child. Um, this is a dog that would probably be a fantastic, like emotional support dog, quote unquote, right? So I don't see this dog going down a road where they become severely reactive or aggressive. Now, could be wrong, right? There's never any <laugh>, there's never any way to know for sure.

Um, but this dog's really social, really friendly, really affectionate, uh, very soft-natured. And I don't think those proclivities are really in there, right? It doesn't mean they don't have it. Um, but it's not, it's really not in their nature. And so you're unlikely to nurture that with tons of love and affection and, and all this stuff, or even a lack of rules and boundaries, right? Dog might be excitable, dog might jump on people, dog might, um, maybe not even listen sometimes, right? But this isn't gonna be a dog with crazy issues. They're not gonna be eating the walls, they're not gonna be, um, pooping in their kennel because they have crazy separation issues.

Like it's a pretty stable, level-headed, headed, happy-go-lucky dog. Um, and that's the kind of dog you want if you're going to use your dog for your own emotional satisfaction,

Okay? So you're gonna be looking at hopefully at breeds that tend to be more in that vicinity, behaviorally, right? And again, it could be any breed, but you know, if it's me and I want an emotional support dog, I'm not looking for a pit bull. I'm not looking for a German Shepherd. I'm not looking for a Malinois, you know, and I'm not saying any of those dogs couldn't do it. There might be plenty of dogs in those breed categories that could do it, but there's gonna be more of them that can't. And if your dog can't, the stakes are high, right?

So if you have a, a pit bull that's like built to do damage and you smother them with constant love, affection, freedom, and then you find out, oh, my dog doesn't handle that well. Well, now you've got a real problem, which is, which is kind of what my customer's dealing with, right?

Because he is a pit bull, Bullmastiff mix. Um, you know, same thing like if you have a German Shepherd and you smother it with love, fun, affection, and you're always, you know, crying on your dog's shoulder and snuggling at night when you're sad and bringing your dog everywhere with you, um, it might, you know, if it made your dog feel unstable and nervous and unsure and insecure, which again, we see a ton of, right now, you've got a dog with strong guarding instincts, and next thing you know, your dog's biting people that come near you, right?

'Cause you're a big softie. You're a big softie. And the only thing you ever share with your dog is softness and anxiety, right? And I'm this, again, I'm not dogging on people that have, are dealing with emotional issues. We've all been there <laugh>, we've all been there.

Um, you know, if you have depression, if you have anxiety, those things like those are real problems, right? But now your dog's bearing the brunt of that. And dogs, a lot of them just are not cut out for that. And so you have to think about, if I get a dog and I do this with them and I put that weight on their shoulders, and I make this their day in and day out life for this particular dog, what could that potentially look like if things go bad, right? So if I have a guardian breed, if I have a bully breed, like what is that gonna look like if things go bad, right?

14:00 — Kati emphasizes that emotional support dogs still need training, rules, boundaries, and consequences.

So tend choose a breed that tends to be softer. That would be my opinion. Um, but also I'd like to point out, just because you get a dog for a emotional support doesn't mean that you don't train the dog.

Doesn't mean that you don't give the dog any rules or boundaries, guys. So that's the other half of this conversation is like, dude, not all dogs are cut out to do that. But even the ones that are like, you're not doing them any favors by not providing the training, by not providing rules, boundaries, and consequences, right? So if you feel like a dog will benefit you while you're dealing with emotional trauma, uh, psychological issues, conditions, like, great, but a dog is a dog is a dog, and any dog really to reach their full potential in any capacity is gonna need some training.

So do your dog that favor. Don't actually turn your dog into a baby, right? It's when we try to do that, man, do we run into some trouble, right? So if you can just inject that balance into your relationship where it's like, yeah, I want a dog that can keep me company. Yeah, I want a dog I can take with me when I'm on the road. Yeah, I want a dog that like can just pet. If I'm feeling a little uneasy and I'm dealing with some stuff, like, that's fine, do that. But maybe you can balance that with, you know, I'm gonna teach you some stuff and I'm gonna hold you accountable for doing it.

When I ask you for those things, right? I want you to come back when I call you. I want you to lay down if I ask you to, um, I want you to stay on your place. I want you to walk nicely on a leash, right? So you don't just become the big softie who has completely destabilized their dog. And the dog just becomes this huge liability.

And I think there, there's also something to be said for the fact that, you know, if someone's in that place, that kind of dark, sad or anxious place, depressed place, um, where they're really relying on a dog to like help them through, there's something to be said for the power of training for that person's own psychological well-being too, right? So it kind of takes this just sort of needy dependent relationship and it turns it into something else that's more meaningful. It's a deeper bond. When you train with your dog, you accomplish things together. It's more than just like wallowing in your sadness or trying to deal or cope or trying to just get through the day, right?

You actually set out to do things and accomplish things together. That's huge. And I think that would be really uplifting for a lot of people that are dealing with, you know, stuff.

Um, so there's that too. But, you know, do your dog that favor, even if they are an emotional support dog. And do the training, have the boundaries, have the requirements, have the accountability. You don't have to choose. It's not either/or, right? So I think we've gotten into this mindset where it's either/or, like, and so we see people getting what they call emotional service dogs and just babying and coddling these dogs into being complete monsters. They're monsters, they're out of control, right? And so we see the worst-case scenario because it's like we have in some cases like the biggest, most powerful breeds too.

Um, but the worst behaved dogs with like the softer, like, baddest people, right? The people that already feel like beaten down by life. Um, maybe they're in a, a dark place temporarily. Maybe they're dealing with some kind of condition, like, I don't know, everybody's different, right?

But it's a person who's not feeling like them, their best selves, obviously. They don't feel strong, they don't feel successful, they don't feel confident, whatever it is. And then they've got this dog who's being terrible <laugh>, right? That that's just an awful combination. It's an awful combination. And so we find a lot of times when we get those types of dogs in with these types of scenarios, it's very much a journey for the human just as much as it is for the dog. Um, but that's it. So, you know, even if you don't have a quote-unquote emotional service dog, you just have a plain old dog, I want you to pay attention to how much am I putting my emotional burden on my dog, right?

So I think a lot of people have watched Cesar Millan, you know, the Dog Whisperer. And, and I, and I kind of, I can hear it a lot of times when I'm talking to people.

'Cause they, they tend to know that like, they're like, oh, I get nervous. Like, it probably makes my dog nervous. And you know, if I, oh, I pull up and I get sort of get tense with the leash. Like, they feel that, so people know that to a degree, but I don't think they really understand sometimes the extent of it. Like they're talking about a specific moment in time, but it's like for, and it's true, they're right. But forget just that moment. Like your dog's whole picture of you, like how you handle everything and how you interact with them.

20:00 — Kati asks owners to examine daily interactions, follow-through, accountability, and unconscious petting when assessing…

Every second of every day goes into the file and it creates stability or instability. And that's the line I wanna leave you with <laugh>. So, so think about your dog's picture of you and what do you look like from your dog's perspective all day? How you interact with them.

Um, what you ask of from them and how you follow through or don't follow through, and how you hold them accountable or don't hold them accountable. And how often are you petting them when you don't even know it because you're nervous or anxious or, or whatever yourself. Uh, because it has an effect on your dog, guys. And that's it, guys. Thanks for joining me today and I look forward to the next one. Uh, sorry, I, I missed an episode or two this past week. Uh, things got a little overwhelming, but I think we're getting back on track.

So we'll see you again in a few days.