5 Myths About Dogs That Drive Me Nuts And Waste Your Energy

00:00 — Kati Peppe introduces Off Leash and Unfiltered and Diamond Canine’s e-collar training focus.

Welcome to Off Leash and Unfiltered Trigger Warning. I'm Kati Peppe, delivering the Truth in Dog Training.

Hey, this is your host, Kati Peppe, owner of Diamond Canine Dog Training in Biddeford, Maine. For those of you that are new here, we specialize in e-collar training. So we help dogs listen off leash and around distractions. Or if your dog's being an absolute total jerk, well, we can help with that too. We do it all and we do puppy training too. This podcast is just my way of sharing. Well, everything with you guys, the good, the bad, the ugly. And I will always be honest about how to fix the problems you might be dealing with with your dog.

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We appreciate you and without further ado, let's jump in. Hey, everybody. We're talking about myths today. Man, there are so many myths out there. So many we can't possibly cover them all, but I wanna talk about the five top ones that I hear because I feel like people are probably going, I know they are, not everybody, but we meet a lot of people who say these things to us. So we know that people are going way out of their way to do these things or avoid doing these things. Um, and it's not doing them any good <laugh>.

So, um, maybe, you know, this is kind of the opposite of what we're always, we're always telling you, you need to do this, you need to do that, right? Maybe you're doing things you just don't need to pull your hair out about anymore. Like maybe you can actually let your hair down, maybe you can relax a little bit. Um, maybe, maybe some of the stuff you're doing, uh, that you're working so hard to be quote unquote consistent with, maybe it really doesn't matter. Wouldn't you kind of like to know that <laugh>? So, um, and some of it's a little more nuanced, so, you know, we'll talk about that too.

But here's one of the things that we hear a lot, actually, let me take a look. I take a quick peek at my list because we wanna go in some kind of order here. So, uh, let's talk about number five.

Number five, I have heard people say, you know, that they've read or they've heard that they should always eat before they feed their dog. That they shouldn't feed the dog first, that the dog shouldn't eat while they're eating. They should always eat first. We hear this a lot about the door too, right? That people should go through the door before their dogs. Like they should never let the dog go through the door first, and it's all baloney <laugh>. So, um, I don't think any of that matters. If you're familiar with me and you're familiar with what we do, you probably already know that our philosophy really is just one of having a permission based relationship with your dog.

03:00 — Kati challenges the rule that owners must eat or pass through doors before their…

So it's not about who goes through the door first as much as it is about your dog just not going through the door without your permission. So I send my dogs outside without me all the time.

I'm not even going through the door at all. But they don't choose on their own to just fly through. Uh, so that's a difference. But you know, every time you're going through that door trying to make sure that you get that first step, like that's just silly. And first of all, you know, most people wouldn't really know how to get that behavior from their dogs. Um, so what ends up happening is you have to have the dog on a leash and you have to really physically manage them and like hold them back or, you know, it's like, it's just silly, it doesn't matter.

Um, but you know, you should have control of when your dog goes through the door. And so it's important to know how to correct your dog for going through doors that they weren't supposed to go through. Um, but stop worrying about who goes first.

It really doesn't matter. Um, eating first, same business, it's like, do what's convenient for you, right? So it's less about, you should always do things this way in this order, and it's more about you should do what works for you and your dog should be okay with that, alright? You shouldn't be, I would say if you're giving up your food to the dog when you're eating, that's probably not great. Um, like if you have a dog that begs and like you're throwing 'em stuff from your plate, um, I mean, most people don't like that anyway, so they're not gonna do that.

But, you know, and for a lot of dogs, if they're not rude, pushy, snotty or aggressive or anything like that, um, maybe it's not a big deal if you don't mind doing that with your dog. But you could see how dog becomes the pushy one that trains the human.

I get your food. It's like, I would, you know, that's not great, but who eats first? Who cares? It doesn't matter. Uh, do what works for you and your household. Just have standards for your dog. Require them to be calm, require them to be patient. You know, don't allow them to encroach on your space when you are eating, you know, things of that nature. But who eats first? Who cares? Like these are, it's just, it's very, um, arbitrary. Like it's just not, it's just not important specifically. Okay? Number two, number, well, I should say number four, right?

Because we're going backwards. So we started with number five, eating before your dog, you know, your dog going through the door before you like that stuff. Not super important. It's more about just, you know, being calm, being respectful, and, um, respecting your rules and, and waiting for your permission and things of that nature. That's much, much more important than who actually goes first.

Uh, number four, your dog shouldn't be in bed with you. That's a really common one, right? And everybody expects me to think that and to say that, and sometimes I do, but it's very much based in what is your dog? Like, what is your relationship like, what are your issues that you're experiencing as a general rule saying your dog shouldn't be in bed with you or your dog shouldn't be on the furniture. Um, again, arbitrary why, right? Some dogs can sleep in the bed with you and they can get on the couch with you and they can never have any behavioral problems at all.

07:00 — Keeping dogs off beds and furniture is arbitrary unless it conflicts with the owner’s…

Um, other dogs not so much, right? So it just depends. And it probably depends too, like not just on what your dog is like, but what does the rest of your day look like? So if you're a real softie and you never enforce any rules, you don't have any expectations, it's like you better have a real soft easy dog if they're gonna be on your couch and in your bed.

But some people do have that. Um, and so maybe it's fine. So I don't care. Like I, I think having your dog in bed with you is fine. Having your dog on the couch is fine if that's what you want, right? So you'll see that common theme in all of these things. It's like, what do you want? Right? And then we just have to make sure that everything across the board looks pretty much the way we want it to, right? Because we might be experiencing a problem in another area that's tied to this area. And so in those cases, you know, maybe you can't have your dog on the furniture with you.

Um, if those things are kind of related or tied together. Um, but most of the time if things are working for you and you want your dog on the furniture in the bed with you have at it, man, right?

As long as you're getting good stuff from your dog, it's when you're not getting good stuff from your dog that we wanna take a look at. Maybe removing those privileges, um, temporarily or for some dogs forever. But I think that's pretty rare. Just depends. It depends on the dog, depends on the humans and what kind of humans they are and how strong their personalities are and what their lifestyle is like, and what kind of a relationship have they built with their dog. Uh, but I think having, having your dogs in bed with you is fine.

Um, my pug sometimes will be in bed with us, but not our grown dog. Mostly just because he's too big and he is on knees and elbows and that would be no fun. <laugh>, that would be no fun. But I did have a dog and yes, this is the nutty dog that, uh, kicked off my dog training career, um, who absolutely could not handle any furniture privileges at all.

She would turn into the devil the second you let her up on the couch, she would decide whole place was hers. Um, and it was dangerous to be honest. Like some dogs can, it will absolutely elevate their status in their minds. They just become a little too big for their britches. Um, and that's why it's such a unique case by case thing, you know? But generally speaking, as a rule, your dog shouldn't be in the bed or on the couch. Arbitrary. Arbitrary. What do you want? And are you genuinely getting good stuff from your dog the rest of the day?

So that's what we look at. That's what we think about. Number three, there is a myth out there that says, uh, if you spay and neuter your dog, you can avoid behavioral issues or fixed behavioral issues.

False <laugh>. So I'm not gonna say it never makes a difference, right? There's no way to really say that, um, with any real certainty. Um, but what I can say with certainty is that there's no guarantee it's going to help you with behavioral issues in any aspect. It might, it might not. Here's what else they don't tell you, it might make them worse. So we have absolutely seen, especially dogs that tend to be on the anxious side, on the reactive side, we have absolutely seen that get worse sometimes after spay and neuter procedures. Does it always?

11:00 — Spaying or neutering can sometimes worsen anxiety and reactivity, especially in vulnerable dogs.

No. Does it improve sometimes? Although that's pretty uncommon, I think once a dog has begun practicing unwanted behaviors, spay and neuter rarely does anything to help it. Rarely. Now, I do think there's the possibility of avoiding some sexual related behaviors like marking, um, you know, potentially fighting, especially if you have multiple dogs in your house of different genders. Like that's a possibility. Maybe some of that stuff can be avoided through spay and neuter. But my point really is just that it's lot messier than just spay and neuter is always the right thing to do and it will always make things better.

And it's always your best chance at having a well adjusted dog. False, false, false.

So, I mean, I could go on all day about this topic. Um, but the fact is spay neuter is obviously a, a veterinary thing. It's a physiological thing that we're doing to the dog. It's not my field. Um, but we do see hundreds and hundreds of dogs, obviously. We see them spayed and neutered. We see them not spayed and neutered. We see them before and after frequently, right? Because we'll meet them as puppies and even as adult dogs. And then we'll see them again afterwards. So we, we definitely have gotten the opportunity to evaluate many, many different types of dogs, different personalities, and kind of see, uh, the changes that occur.

And our experience has just been that you can absolutely have a very well adjusted dog who's not spayed or neutered. And you can very, very well have a very poorly adjusted dog who is spayed or neutered.

Um, and so I think it's just important to clarify that. I'm not saying it never makes a difference, I'm just saying it doesn't always, and when it does, it's not always positive. So it's not this clean cut, black and white. Everyone wants to make it out to be. Um, most vets wanna make it out to be that way. Like it's always the right thing to do and it's always beneficial. Or if you have any hope at anything being better, this is how you do it. Um, it's just simply not true. It's actually a lot messier than that.

And I think it deserves your attention. I think it deserves for you to think about it, to research it, to talk to people, um, and to try to find out. Because the fact is, you know, maybe the most important thing is having a vet that you really trust, that you think is experienced, that you think uses their brain and will be honest with you.

Um, and not just sign you up for a procedure because that's the status quo. Um, but the fact is, I think the vast majority not, and I'm not picking on veterinarians here, it's not just veterinarians. This goes for everybody in every field, guys, everybody, the vast majority of quote unquote professionals in any field, they're just stating status quo. This is what I was fed, this is what I was told. This is what I read. This is what my professor said. This is what the book said. This is what this study from 1972 with no details <laugh> disclosed.

15:00 — Old studies lacking details should not be treated as definitive evidence about spaying and…

This is what it said. Um, and the truth is they don't know. They don't know that they don't know, but they don't know. Um, so you can't just take someone's word for it, right? If you're going to do that, choose somebody wisely that you have reason to believe knows what they're talking about.

'cause it's just too easy, um, for different entities with different agendas and different motivations to just create this myth and make something normal. And, you know, any time that there's any kind of like moral obligation, like there's pressure on you from a societal perspective, for you to do a certain thing that should raise a red flag, it's like, why, why is it so important to you that I cut my dog's balls off? You know, people go on and on about overpopulation and blah blah blah, and it's like, okay, my dog's not impregnating any other dogs.

Um, so again, I'm not trying to make the case that you shouldn't fix your dog. I think probably a lot of folks should. I think especially if you aren't, if you have multiple dogs in your household and you're not adept at like running a tight ship and the leadership and building the right relationships and having order in your household, you probably are better off without all those sex hormones flying around, right?

I mean, also with female dogs, there's a lot of other problems that get dragged into it, right? Because now you've got a dog that <laugh> bleeds a couple times a year. Um, and so you have to deal with that. And everywhere you bring them, they're getting all the dogs attention and you know, they're moody and like all this stuff you's lots of things to think about. And then there's the risk of cancer, which is, you know, debatable and you'll find different information saying different things. Um, I have my opinions on it, I think I've talked about it before, but, um, the fact is we're still kind of waiting to see, I think because it is hard to find unbiased information out there, um, from my male dogs, I've chosen not to neuter them.

Um, that's been working out fine for us. Uh, but it's a, it's a personal choice and the idea that you have to do it and that it's going to fix all your problems is a myth.

Alright, we're moving on. Number two, that's a good one. A lot of people seem to think that if you, there's a couple of different things here kind of wrapped into one. If you play tug of war with your dog, you're encouraging aggression. Um, that's ridiculous, <laugh>. So okay, I'll give you this like you are, even if it is play, you are engaging in an activity with your dog where one of you will win and one of you will lose. And I'm sure there are absolutely dogs out there where if you play tug of war, they may sort of enjoy that feeling of being engaged in sort of a low conflict, right?

18:00 — Kati rejects the claim that playing tug of war automatically encourages aggression.

Even though it's play, it could morph into more than that, especially over time. Um, you're sort of prodding and nourishing if they have it, that aspect of engaging in conflict and then being victorious over you, right?

If they win the game of tug of war, um, yeah, I could see how that could, um, sort of nurture stuff. We don't want in a dog that already has that proclivity though. Like you're not gonna generate that by playing tug of war with your dog. Okay? I play tug of war with my pug. He'll hang on like a pit bull. I can pick up that rope and he'll just hang from it. Um, it's hilarious. And there's not a blood cell in him that thinks he is gonna get away with anything in my house, <laugh>.

So, um, play is, is play is play, right? So playing tug of war with your dog is fine. I will set some conditions though.

If you have a dog that clearly enjoys conflict, in other words, they like getting a rise out of you, they talk back to you when you try to draw boundaries with them, that's probably a dog you shouldn't have that physical play with. And I say physical play, I mean engaging in that back of and forth tug of war where there's like an imbalance, right? But if you do, and I would say this is true for all dogs, I would like for you to have this, but especially if you have a dog like that, right? If you have a dog like that, you probably shouldn't do it unless you're gonna have a lot of rules around it, right?

And then it could actually be a beneficial thing if you have rules around it, which is why I like to do that with all dogs. It's like, think about it. I was just having this conversation with someone the other day. When you play a game with somebody, if you sit down and you play a game of chess, you play a game on volleyball, I don't care what the game is, there's rules. You're not just allowed to go out there and pumble the ball or move the chips wherever you want. Like, there are rules that you have to abide by.

And unfortunately when most of us play with our dogs, we don't have any rules. Love the podcast. Well, I have great news. We are now offering an inexpensive subscription where you can get access to our new premium content. This content isn't available to our general listeners, it's made just for you. It includes all kinds of behind the scenes stuff, all the obstacles and how we're overcoming them with our board and trained dogs. And the most difficult part of our job, how we deal with overcoming obstacles with our clients. So all kinds of new cool, interesting stuff for you to get out of those episodes.

You can jump down into the show notes and there will be a link to our support page where you can sign up and start listening right away. Thanks for your support, enjoy the rest of the show. It's just pure play. Um, which translates to the dog just doing anything they want and following every impulse they have with no rules.

So I think it's a lot more beneficial for the dog and for your relationship if there's still rules. I'm not saying you have to take play and turn it into work, but for instance, if I go out and I play fetch, I throw the ball around for my dog. There are expectations such as if I call you back, you have to come. If I ask you to drop the ball, you have to drop it and you're not allowed to go back to it until I say, so. If I ask you to randomly lay down for some reason, you have to do it.

23:00 — Structured play requires dogs to come, drop toys, wait, and obey other requested cues.

And if I throw the ball, you still have to do it. You have to lay there until I tell you can get up. So, and you know, I don't always do that, but I'll throw those in here and there, right? But there's some kind of rules, there's some kind of boundaries and expectations and that can make play still tons of fun, but also very valuable because I think play might be one of the areas where people really damage their relationship with their dog, right?

Because we want people to play with their dog. Of course we do, especially puppies. But if you're putting in all this effort in all of these other areas to have a relationship of respect and to create order in your house, and then you're spending two hours a day, quote unquote playing with your dog where all the rules go out the window, you're hurting yourself. You're shooting yourself in the foot, right? And so I'm gonna get a little off topic here, I'm going to start rambling about structured play. Um, but I think when it comes to this myth about tug of war that fixes it, you just have to have rules and expectations.

And as long as you have those, you can play tug of war. So my, my bigger dog boo, um, who's half pity, he loves a good game of tug, but he's extremely respectful and he pulls hard man, he's strong, you know, and he'll play growl and he'll give it a good shake.

And he genuinely tries to get it away from me. And he, he's a big guy. He is strong, but if I tell him to out, he drops it instantaneously, right? And I don't do that all the time because I do want him to have fun. I I do want us to have the game of tug. I I wanna put up a fight <laugh>, but if I ask him to drop it damnit he is going to, right? So he has that respect for me, and he doesn't lose that respect for me. When we're engaged in a game, I think that fixes that problem.

But, you know, a lot of dogs, they don't even, they just don't do that. They don't push those boundaries. They don't use their teeth on people. They don't talk back. They're not pushy, they're not aggressive, they're not any of those things. And the thought or the idea that you're gonna play tug of war and somehow turn them into an aggressive dog is silly. It's just play.

Um, I've heard similar things about feeding your dog raw meat. Everybody can relax. Tug of war does not make your dog aggressive. Feeding your dog raw meat does not make your dog aggressive. But, you know, if you really wanna sit down and think about where these myths came from, probably, I mean, let's face it, raw meat for most dogs is gonna be a very, very high value item, right? And so when are you most likely to see resource guarding? Probably when there's raw meat around, right? So it's, it's plausible to think that a lot of folks just never see that side of their dog.

26:00 — Raw meat does not inherently make dogs aggressive, although it can be highly valuable.

And then when they bring out the raw meat, they see it. And so now the thinking is raw meat made my dog aggressive, but in all actuality, the dog's always been that way. They just never saw it, right? It's always been there and it could always come out and it could come out for anything at any time, right?

But it just hasn't. Um, but then that elicited that response and so now we pin it on the raw meat. Uh, so I would say no raw meat does not make your dog aggressive. If you happen to find out that your dog is aggressive when you start feeding them raw meat, then you know that's an opportunity for you to start building a different relationship with them, right? So hopefully you heard the last episode about, uh, in the prevention series and resource guarding. Um, but the act of playing tug of war or feeding your dog raw meat, those things are not going to make your dog an aggressive dog.

Um, they may unveil traits, personality traits that are already there. You just didn't know about it, right? But it didn't generate them. It didn't cause them. That is not the case.

All right? Who can guess the number one myth when it comes to dogs? Drum roll please. Number one on our list of the top five myths is you should always use positive only methods to train your dog <laugh> who didn't see that coming? If you didn't see that coming, shame on you. It means you're not listening to enough of my stuff. Okay? So I don't know how much we really need to go into detail about this one, um, but I'm gonna try to keep myself on track here and just very briefly outline why this is a myth.

All right? First of all, we've been talking a lot about aggression lately and resource guarding. And a lot of the things we covered in this episode were things that people believe cause aggression, right? If you don't spay your dog, or if you play tug of war, you feed them Rami. If you let them in your bed, like these things are gonna make your dog aggressive. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Um, you know, what is likely to nurture aggression in your dog? Now, I'm not gonna say create or generate, but to nurture, you know, what will teach your dog to be more aggressive, only using positive reinforcement?

110 fucking percent.

This can only increase aggression. I mean that literally I'm not, and I'm not saying that feeding your dog treats makes them aggressive, that's not what I'm saying. So I try to be very precise in my speech people. So listen closely. What I'm saying is if your dog has any behaviors that are not stellar, and especially if they have any behaviors that are aggressive, are a little pushy, are a little snotty. If your dog's a little mouthy any of these things and you are using rewards to try to fix it, you're in big trouble. Because you can really only increase behaviors with rewards.

30:00 — Rewards can increase unwanted behaviors and generally cannot reduce them long term.

You're, you're not gonna decrease things, generally speaking, and not in the long term. Even if you think you, you're getting what you want in the moment, it's not in the long term.

So you may be trying to increase other behaviors to decrease the bad behavior. And I can see where you're coming from. That sounds good in theory. Um, but the fact is, increasing another behavior will not eliminate any other behavior. And unless you're really confident in what you're doing, which you're obviously not, if this is your <laugh> your method, you risk accidentally increasing the wrong behaviors. Do you see where I'm coming from? So in other words, you might be using, let's just use jumping as a simple example. A lot of times when dogs jump up on people, people think, oh, I'll teach my dog to sit that way they can't jump, right?

Yeah, brilliant. Tell me more. So, okay, they teach their dog to sit, they give 'em a treat, they teach their dog to sit, they give 'em a treat, someone comes in, dog sits, they give 'em a treat, right?

So they think they're just increasing the sit, but the fact is they might actually increase the jumping depending on what they're doing. And also just depending on their dog's wiring, you may very well create a cycle. If your dog jumps and then you say, sit and feed him a treat, what cycle are we creating? Jump, sit, treat, jump, sit, treat, jump, sit, treat. So the only thing increasing is not just sit, we're also increasing jump, right? So now take that and translate it to aggression. It's not great. Someone has a dog that growls or bites over a resource and they're playing the trade game, getting the dog to drop things and feeding them treats.

It's like, okay, but we're not having the conversation with our dog that tells them not to do that. And we are increasing arousal and building a relationship where we're aez dispenser and potentially feeding behavior that's indicative of guarding because maybe we don't see it, right? If we have a dog that starts to put their head down, starts to get stiff because they're uncomfortable, that we're, we're moving toward a resource and then we're like, Hey, drop it. Here's a bone. Hey, drop it. Like here's a cookie. Um, we're, again, we're risking increasing those bad behaviors. So the thought process is, oh, but they dropped the resource for me and I gave 'em a treat.

It's like, I know, but it started with them guarding.

So really the sequence start to finish is I guard and I end up with a cookie, right? And it's a little messier than this. I'm kind of oversimplifying things a little bit. Um, and as always, it depends on the individual dog and the relationship with, with the people and, and all these things. But it's really, really common for folks that are only using positive reinforcement to absolutely increase the frequency and intensity of the behaviors that they are trying to eliminate. I see it all the time. Dogs get more aroused, more reactive, more protective, possessive, more aggressive, more anxious.

34:00 — Positive-only training can create a false reality and worsen anxiety or reactivity.

Like all the things we're trying to fix get worse because you're trying to create a false reality. There has to be negative consequences for things. There have to be things. We're motivated for things, we're motivated to avoid things we wanna increase, things we wanna decrease.

You need the broad spectrum, right? We, it's 'cause that's called reality. Like that's the actual world we live in. Trying to change behavior, especially to eliminate behaviors by cutting out half of reality is nuts and it doesn't work. So the myth is that you should only use positive reinforcement. And that if you use anything else, you're going to damage your dog and damage your relationship. When actually the, and this is why it's number one, it is absolutely the polar opposite of the truth. Well, I like to be precise in my speech. Maybe it's not the polar opposite, right?

'cause that would be that you should only use negative consequences. But saying that using negative consequences can be damaging. Like that is so far from the truth, you guys, because without those things you can't eliminate behaviors. You can't build a balanced relationship with your dog. You can't garner respect from your dog. You can't, you can't even teach your dog how to not be fearful without negative consequences. It's going to be extremely difficult and probably impossible.

You can't tie your hands, you can't cut out half of reality and actually succeed in eliminating behaviors in creating a confident balanced dog and a healthy relationship. You can't do it. And most of the time that we see dogs that are really reactive and really aggressive, they have nothing but positive reinforcement training up until they come here. And then we balance things out, of course. But so explain that most of them are spayed and neutered and they've had nothing but positive reinforcement and they're a mess <laugh>. So, so the myths there they are. Don't fall into the trap.

Don't fall into the myth. Hey, don't take my word for it either. Find out for yourself. Um, absolutely. That's really what we wanna encourage people to do is use their brains, use their critical thinking, you know, do their research. And research can't just be a cursory Google glance guys, because the Internet's full of garbage, especially when it comes to dog training. It is full of garbage. You need real world feedback. You need to see it with your own eyes.

37:00 — Kati recommends thorough research, real-world feedback, and skepticism toward online dog-training claims.

And if you can do that, you're gonna be all right. But if you're spending all of your time saying, I gotta go through the door first, I could eat first. I can't have my dog in my bed. We can't play tug of war. You know what? I'm happy to tell you. You can relax. <laugh>. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. If there's a topic you'd like to hear discussed, you can send that to me directly at Kati at Diamond Canine dot com via email. So I will link to that email address in the show notes.

Thanks for joining us today, guys. Thanks for supporting the podcast and I look forward to the next one.