The Top 7 Phrases Kati Hates Hearing in Dog Training

00:00 — Kati introduces Diamond Canine Dog Training and its focus on off-leash obedience and behavior…

Speaker 1: Welcome to Off Leash and Unfiltered Trigger Warning. I'm Kati Peppe, delivering the Truth in Dog Training.

Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us for another episode of Off Leash and Unfiltered. I'm your host, Kati Peppe, and I own Diamond Canine Dog training in Biddeford, Maine. We specialize in eco training for off-leash obedience and behavior modifications, so helping people stop behaviors they don't like. Barking, jumping, getting into the trash and more serious things, leash, reactivity, aggression, resource guarding, and we love working with nervous and fearful and anxious dogs as well. We also offer puppy programs, so that's who we are and what we do. And this podcast is just our way of sharing everything we see and do and learn every day with you guys.

Speaker 1: Everything we're doing with the dogs and with our clients. And our hope is you'll get something out of this that will help you with your own dog. So don't forget to hit subscribe to help support the podcast. Let's dive in. We are covering the top seven phrases I hate hearing in the dog training field. Some of these are narratives that you'll hear on the internet. They're cliche, canned phrases you're gonna hear in your Facebook groups and things of that nature. Some of them are things we hear from our clients all the time too. Um, so let's get down to business number seven.

Speaker 1: Well, I don't mind that

Speaker 1: A lot of people will say, well, I don't mind if she does that. Okay, I get it.

Speaker 1: Sometimes we're telling you that you should inhibit behaviors, you should correct your dog for doing things, or you should prevent your dog from doing things that you don't necessarily really mind if they do. Um, and I see where you're coming from, but do you see where we're coming from? So the reason that we're usually recommending to people that they do this and that they step in and they prevent behaviors, um, that they don't necessarily mind their dog doing, is because it is tied to behaviors that they do mind them doing, and they just don't quite see that connection or they don't see it yet.

Speaker 1: And so if we are asking you to stop, arousal is a good example. Um, dog getting overexcited in certain situations or a lot of people will let their dog kind of jump all over them sometimes, you know, will say that's not a thing you should allow.

Speaker 1: Or, uh, here's a really common one is barking. When they hear someone outside or someone pull into the driveway, a lot of people say, well, I don't mind that. Or they even say, well, I like that, right? Because I'm home alone all the time, or this or that. And I get it, I totally understand. But if you're coming to us, especially with a large breed or a power breed dog, a natural guarding instinct dog, and the reason you're coming to see us might even be because your dog has these behaviors and then you're saying out the other side of your mouth, well, I don't mind if they do that.

03:00 — Allowing barking at outside noises can conflict with expecting calm behavior when strangers approach…

Speaker 1: You can't have it both ways. You're asking too much from your dog. So those behaviors, even though you don't mind them, and we totally get that, they are tied to the things that you want to stop.

Speaker 1: Like they're tied to the things that you came to us for help with. So you're, it's just too tall of an order for your dog. You're saying, Hey, I don't want you to be reactive. I don't want you to be aggressive. I don't want you to be worried about strangers. I don't want you charging the door. But then you're saying, well, I don't mind if they bark when they hear someone outside. And you know, for some dogs it's just too much. It's too tall of an order. You're asking for a discrimination. I'm not saying it can't be done, but I'm saying it partly depends on the dog, it depends on the environment, it depends on the skill of the handler.

Speaker 1: So most pet homes, the people, they're not dog trainers. That's why they're coming to see us. And so the, the safest way, the most effective way for us to make sure you're successful reaching your goals is to stop all of these other behaviors that are feeding into this mindset of your dog that are feeding into the behaviors that you don't like.

Speaker 1: And so that's why we're asking you to stop those things. So that is number seven is quote unquote, when people say, I don't mind if he or she does that. Number six, my dog is good unless, okay, and you can put any word in there you want, unless, until, you know, until he sees a bird, until she sees another dog, until somebody walks by, until the neighbor comes out and you know, whatever it is. So if you have to insert that condition in there, my dog is good, or my dog is great, or my dog listens until or unless, um, then your dog's not good, right?

Speaker 1: So I'm not saying you have a bad dog, I'm just saying you're qualifying their behavior, right? So again, it's kind of talking out of both sides of your mouth. It's kind of like, and, and I get it, and I think it's important to people that we kind of see their dog as being good, right?

Speaker 1: Because they love their dog and they don't, people come in and they are like so worried about painting their dog as being this bad character or this unruly character. And that's silly. I mean, that's why you're here. You need help, right? We're not here to talk about the things that are all right and good with your dog. And I'm sure there are plenty, even the worst dogs usually have some good qualities, right? But most dogs, they're loved by their owners and they're good in so many ways, right? But they're not listening or they have this bad behavior that someone just can't seem to knock out and that's why you're here.

Speaker 1: You don't have to qualify it with, uh, my dog is usually really good or he is 90% good, you guys, we hear that so, so much. But your dog, you know, people even wanna kind of illustrate things like they want, they want to, um, sort of give you the sense that like, their dog is well trained.

Speaker 1: There's just these couple little problems, but it doesn't work that way. Your dog, I know your dog understands what these things mean, right? Probably in a lot of cases, your dog understands what sip means. Your dog understands what cu means, but they don't do it. They don't do it reliably. They don't do it consistently. They're not safe. You don't have a trained dog. You have a half trained dog <laugh>. So I'm not saying your dog is bad, but you don't have to qualify it with my dog is really good unless or until right? And if you have to say that, then your dog just isn't trained yet.

07:00 — A dog that listens inconsistently is half-trained, not fully trained or reliably safe.

Speaker 1: And that's okay. Again, that's why people are coming to see us is 'cause they need help finishing the process. Um, so nothing to be ashamed about there, but stop qualifying it, right? Stop trying to paint your dog in this good light, your dog, most likely.

Speaker 1: Like if you've gone through all these steps and you've trained your dog and you know, they know what it means, your dog, I'm sorry to say, but they're choosing not to listen to you. Um, and that doesn't make them a bad dog. It doesn't make, it doesn't mean anything's wrong with them. It just means you're not done. You just haven't done what needs to be done yet. And that's why people are coming to see us. So that's number six is my dog is good unless or until number five, he's not aggressive or she's not aggressive, or my dog doesn't have an aggressive bone in their body.

Speaker 1: So pick any version of that statement, <laugh>, that you want to. Um, here's the thing, it's just not true. I know people are going what? Right? So yes, I've met dogs that it's like if you wanted to make them bite, you wanted to get that dog to put holes in you, you would be very hard pressed to do that.

Speaker 1: Um, there are some dogs that just, that is the last resort. It is the last thing they ever, ever want to even think about doing. Uh, of course I've met those dogs, right? They have a very high threshold, meaning it's very difficult to get them to bite. It's not their knee jerk reaction. It's not their first choice of action. Of course, those dogs are out there, there's a lot of dogs like that. Those dogs are great, right? But trust me, it's in there and it's just a really good idea for nobody to paint their dog as not having an aggressive bone in their body.

Speaker 1: And because I can't tell you how many times people have been surprised when the right context, the right conditions just happen to come together and suddenly they see a side of their dog they never seen before. <laugh>, right? And you, a lot of times that's gonna be an instance of like guarding, right?

Speaker 1: Supernatural behavior. Suddenly your dog is in a different situation for whatever reason. You're out traveling, you're visiting family, who knows. But you know, a kid comes along when your dog is eating and does something your dog isn't used to having happen. Um, or another dog is around and maybe that dog, you know, isn't the most polite and tends to be a little pushy. Or maybe they have kind of a tense relationship and you didn't realize that. And suddenly your dog is breaking out the teeth and they're snarling. You're like, holy shit, my dog is cujo.

Speaker 1: They're probably not, right? Usually these things look a little worse than they really are. Not always, but especially if you, you know, you're one of those people that think, oh, my dog is so sweet, my dog could never, would never hurt a fly. My dog doesn't have an aggressive bone in their body.

Speaker 1: And then you see that and you're shitting your pants, right? You're like, oh my God, there's something wrong with my dog. There's nothing wrong with your dog. It's a normal dog behavior. So I'm not saying don't do anything about it, right? But this is a learning moment. You just learn something valuable about your dog, about all dogs, guys, it's in there, right? And some dogs aren't going to do that until they are afraid for their life. Um, but nonetheless, here's the thing. You have to understand that can happen even if it's a totally normal everyday scenario, right?

11:00 — Specific conditions can trigger reflexive behavior because dogs may not fully understand what is…

Speaker 1: It, all it takes is just the 'cause. Your dog's not human. They don't necessarily fully understand what's happening around them in the moment. So what happens is these conditions come together and it just triggers this reflexive action in your dog, right? Your dog's brain just happens to recognize a specific moment in time, a specific environmental as like a threat to their, um, their self preservation, their life.

Speaker 1: And even if that sounds silly, right? It might be something as silly as a loud noise. Um, a person towering over them, someone wearing something they haven't seen before, who knows, um, a multitude of factors that just come together in a perfect storm at the right time. And suddenly your dog just has this physiological neurological response where they go, oh, this is a danger. And they snap, right? And it could happen. That could happen with any dog. They all have it in there, right? It's just some dogs, the threshold is very high, and some dogs, the threshold is very low.

Speaker 1: So we tend to categorize dogs as either aggressive or not. But this is not a black and white issue. It is absolutely a spectrum. All dogs are on it. No, dogs are zero, right? So, and again, people are trying to qualify things because they don't want you to view their dog as bad.

Speaker 1: They don't wanna say their dog is bad. They don't wanna say their dog is aggressive. And so they go out of their way to convince you that their dog is not aggressive. By the way, as dog trainers, huge red flag. When someone says, my dog's not aggressive, we go, mm, that's a dog that I need to watch out for <laugh>, right? Because it means you've experienced something most likely, um, that is toward the other end of that aggressive spectrum. And so now it's really important for you to qualify your dog as not aggressive. And that's just silly.

Speaker 1: Again, it's not something to be ashamed of. You're being proactive about what you saw and the behavior and trying to make sure you're being a responsible dog owner. Nobody thinks your dog is bad just because they snapped at somebody or something happened and the teeth came out.

Speaker 1: That doesn't mean your dog is a terrible dog. It just means there's something missing, right? There's something missing in your relationship. There's something missing from their life in terms of boundaries, structure, consequences, leadership. Like your dog has a natural behavior to take out the teeth in whatever instance that was, and nobody has told them yet that that's a bad idea, right? So you don't have to qualify it. Um, but there's no such thing as he's not aggressive. She's not aggressive. That's just not a thing that exists, right? Sure, there are dogs that are seldom aggressive or would be difficult to get them to do an aggressive behavior, but they do have it.

14:00 — Kati challenges the claim that training will break a dog’s spirit.

Speaker 1: They are dogs, they are predators. Um, that's why they've got all these teeth. That's why they've got canine teeth, <laugh>, it's in there. Uh, so that's number five. Number four, I don't wanna break his spirit.

Speaker 1: Oh, dog trainers love hearing this one. So, um, this is another obviously client line that we hear a lot, right? From people when we first talk to them. They're very concerned about quote unquote the type of training we do, right? So anything that involves any kind of negative consequence, any kind of structure, right? We're talking a lot about rules and boundaries, and people hear this and they go, oh my God. Right? This sounds so militant and so awful. And I mean, sometimes folks act like they're just sending their dog off to prison. Um, and we're gonna be like waterboarding them <laugh>.

Speaker 1: And it's no guys, look, what does it even mean? Break his spirit. Break her spirit. Like, what? Help me out. What are, what are people thinking when they say that? Because it, it definitely sends, it gives me the impression, um, that either folks think we are, um, abusing dogs, right?

Speaker 1: Obviously, I would equate a statement like this to being abusive, right? Being a militant asshole who doesn't allow anything ever, right? It's like we're talking about like two weeks of just teaching your dog how to be polite and respectful and, you know, implementing rules and boundaries. Yes. Negative consequences for, you know, jumping all over people or completely losing your marbles with excitement and choosing not to listen. Those things aren't gonna be allowed anymore, right? But we're not, how is that gonna break your dog's spirit, right? That's like saying you can never punish your child. Um, you can never have a negative consequence when your child breaks a rule, right?

Speaker 1: Or is disrespectful to your chooses not to listen to you. Um, you're not, you're not gonna break their spirit by implementing a negative consequence for that. In fact, I would argue quite the opposite, right?

Speaker 1: Without that rule structure, without those real boundaries, without those tangible consequences, it creates massive amounts of anxiety, depression, meaninglessness, just floating through the universe, uncertain about things. It's bad. Now, if you ask me, that's a broken spirit, I have to say when I hear this, when you see a dog that's kind of off the wall, they're too much, they're outta control. And people are like, well, you know, I don't wanna break his spirit. It's like, all I can picture is like the people with the kid that's like swearing at his parents and staying out all night doing drugs, right?

Speaker 1: Or like the little, the little twerp that's like stealing money out of his mom's purse. And then his parents are like, oh, well we don't wanna break his spirit. Okay, then just deal with it, I guess.

Speaker 1: Can't get enough of this dog training stuff. Well, I have great news. We're going to start offering an inexpensive paid subscription where you can get access to our new exciting bonus content. It's just one more way that you can help support the podcast. But even if you can't do that, just leaving us a review and hitting subscribe is hugely appreciated. And of course, don't forget to tell your friends about the podcast. 'cause you and I know they have issues with their dogs. And this way they won't have to get mad at you for saying it because I'm saying it.

Speaker 1: <laugh>, thank you for being here guys, and thank you for your support, right? We're not, there's, we can't change your dog's personality. So I often say that in my phone consultations because people will say, you know, that they don't wanna break their dog's spirit. They don't wanna change his personality.

Speaker 1: And I say, look, my job would be so much easier if I could change your dog's personality, right? Not 'cause I necessarily want to, but we certainly get dogs in here who do not have good personalities. Not a ton of them, but we get them. And if we could just change that, boy, wouldn't that make my job so easy? <laugh>, right? But we can't, your dog's always going to be who they are. If your dog's a happy go lucky dog, they're still gonna be a happy go lucky dog. The problem comes in when people see a nice calm dog.

19:00 — A calm, corrected dog is not depressed; the same happy temperament can remain after…

Speaker 1: They have finally fixed the behaviors that they wanted to fix in the first place. And now they convince themselves, they tell themselves the story that their dog is depressed because their dog isn't, you know, being a floundering idiot, um, not listening, bouncing off the walls, all these things they didn't want their dog doing in the first place.

Speaker 1: And then when you get the dog being calm in a good state of mind, able to listen, able to mellow out, then people will sometimes tell themselves the story that their dog is now depressed or their dog is moping. Um, and that's just us making things up in our head, right? 'cause we're used to seeing our dog with their ears up and their tail of flying and their tongue of flying. And they'll still do that, right? But the difference is with good training, now they'll do that when it's appropriate. They'll do it when you invite it, right?

Speaker 1: Instead of saying, well, this seems like a good time and you're in the middle of a coffee shop, um, trying to enjoy a coffee and a scone, um, with your friend, right? And your dog is taken out all the tables because there's another dog on the other side.

Speaker 1: It's like it again, it can't have it both ways, right? But people see that, and to them that's happy. And then the dog that stays in their down and is calm and relaxed and just sees the other dog walks by and doesn't even bother to check them out. People go, oh, well my dog's depressed now. And it's like, no, your dog now is just calm. And they know what's expected. So it's really easy for them to know they know what to do, right? 'cause we did the training, they know what to do. They know it's not optional.

Speaker 1: And then when you say, Hey, you can be free now, you can go do your thing. You can go chase that ball. We're gonna wrestle even, or whatever it is you wanna do, we're gonna go say hi to these people. We're gonna turn you loose with your dog friends, whatever it is. Now your dog can do those things, right? It's just instead of them making that decision and them creating chaos in inappropriate moments, now your dog knows how to shut off and be mellow and just follow your instruction, right? That's not a broken spirit. That's order, that's peace.

Speaker 1: That's amazing is what that is. So when I hear that, um, there's all, and it's common, there's always a little bit of concern, right? Because it's normal for people to worry, um, when they have never done training with their dog. That's actually a full complete training program that actually does, you know, balance things with like, love, affection, freedom with rules, boundaries, you know, consequences, all these things. Um, people haven't done that before. They do tend to be worried. And that's okay. Like, I don't fault people for being human, but when we hear that phrase, we don't wanna break his spirit.

Speaker 1: There's always this little thing in the back of our head, right? That goes in the folder <laugh> that, you know, we know this could potentially be someone who's gonna take all this training we do and all the information we give them and go home and not use it because they're just telling themselves a story.

Speaker 1: And that doesn't happen often because we do put so much prep into, uh, the process before the program, right? Before people even contact me. Um, they're usually very well educated on who we are and what we're doing and what our work looks like and what the outcome is. Um, and so yeah, people, people know what we're, what we're doing and they see the work. We're very open about it. It's on social media, but you know, sometimes people are still concerned. They drop their dog off, they feel guilty, all these things. Um, you know, and ultimately when that happens, we do realize that there's at least a small chance there's a higher than average chance, I suppose, that they may take all of this, you know, effort they're putting in, this investment they're making, and go home and just let it all fall apart because they're telling themselves this silly story about how they're being mean to their dog, or they're crushing their dog's spirit.

Speaker 1: And it certainly doesn't help if you're surrounded by people that are not supportive and that have no fricking idea what they're talking about. So don't surround yourself with those people. Um, I was just having a conversation about that today. Um, but I don't wanna break his spirit guys. That's number four. It's number four, okay? You're not gonna break your dog's spirit. You're not gonna go home and kick him down the stairs. That's trust me, it's not gonna be in the go home packet. <laugh>, okay? Number three, oh, we're getting to the good stuff now.

24:00 — Kati criticizes “don’t worry, he’s friendly” as an excuse for uncontrolled dog access.

Speaker 1: Don't worry, he's friendly. <laugh>, I, you've gotta be shocked that that is only number three. Um, I, that is one of my most hated phrases. So up until now, most of the phrases we've covered are stuff we're hearing from our clients. Um, and it's less that we hate those phrases and more that those are just common things we hear that indicate there's a lack of understanding about what's happening, what we're doing, what to expect, um, and that sort of thing. And now we're kind of getting into the phrases that I really genuinely hate. So don't worry, he's friendly.

Speaker 1: If you have to say this, you have already done something wrong, my friend, you have already committed a fucking sin. You should never have to say that. So things have already gone south. You're already on my shit list. If you're saying that. Now, hopefully if you're saying that it's because there's been some kind of an accident, right?

Speaker 1: Your leash broke your dog, you know, accidentally slipped through a door, something like that. Still not great, right? Still your fault ultimately because your dog is always your responsibility, but it's a mistake and they happen, okay? If your dog is just off leash approaching people, approaching dogs, and you think the correct way to deal with this is just to yell that your dog is friendly, you're wrong. That is not the way to deal with it. The way to deal with it is to not allow your dog to do that. And there is such a thing as real training so that you can actually control your dog.

Speaker 1: You can actually have them under voice control. Your dog does not have to be out of control. This is preventable 110%. So people will look at you like you have three heads. Um, people will say you are the problem, which is just absolutely ridiculous.

Speaker 1: People will say, you know, if your dog isn't friendly or doesn't like other dogs and basically you just shouldn't have them outside, and we're gonna do an episode on that, that's just stupid. Um, and that's just their way of giving themselves a free pass because they haven't put the work in, they haven't made the investment, they haven't trained their dog to that level of reliability. And so they think it's acceptable to just allow their dog to run up into the space of other people and other dogs. And as long as their dog is quote unquote friendly, it's okay.

Speaker 1: And as we talked about earlier, no dog is 100% friendly, right? They all have the ability to be aggressive in there. And they're also obviously not that concerned about their own dog safety, right? Because they don't know the other people, they don't know the other dogs, and there's no way to know what's going to happen. So shame on those folks. Anybody yelling, he's friendly, she's friendly, don't worry, she's friendly. Um, those people suck. <laugh>, that's all I would say about that. Number two, just let dogs be dogs. So I recently made a social media post about this.

27:00 — “Just let dogs be dogs” is presented as a slogan that ignores the need…

Speaker 1: This is a very common saying, and I will say there's an aspect of this that I get right? So that I think let dogs be dogs can mean a lot of different things.

Speaker 1: The way in which people are using it that I don't like is basically saying that dogs shouldn't ever have rules and boundaries, right? Dogs should be able to lose their minds with excitement whenever they want to. Dogs should never have to hold a position for any reason. Dogs should not be, you know, in their crates when their owners, you know, don't feel like dealing with them or managing them or addressing their behavior, these sorts of things. So people that guilt owners with, oh, just let your dog be a dog. Let me just say, fuck those people.

Speaker 1: Okay? Here's the thing. Dogs are dogs and they will do what comes naturally to dogs. So people that say, let just let dogs be a dog, right? Just let your dog be a dog. Those people don't know what a dog is. They think a dog is a freaking teddy bear.

Speaker 1: They don't think dogs bite. They don't think dogs guard, they don't think dogs run away and get hit by cars. Like, I don't know what the hell they think, but they obviously don't understand that dogs are dogs. They do what comes naturally to a dog as an animal. And sometimes those things are pretty awful. They're, they can be dangerous to other people. They can be dangerous to themselves, even well-meaning dogs, right? The golden retriever that jumps up on grandma knocks her down and she breaks her hip, right? The friendly lab that sees the neighbor across the street and runs out and gets flattened by A GMC, right?

Speaker 1: That's a dog being a dog. Is that what you want? Right? The German shepherd that bites the kid in the face because nobody ever told the dog fucking no. Like these are things you can't do. Um, because nobody ever said, Hey, I'm gonna put the dog in a crate because the behavior makes me uneasy, right?

Speaker 1: And I have a child in the house, right? Just let your dog be a dog, okay? These are things dogs do. So what's your solution to that genius? I'll tell you, they don't have solutions, right? These people don't give a shit about you. They don't give a shit about your dog. So stop giving them this power over your life. You wanna be able to include your dog, right? You wanna be able to take your dog for a walk on the beach. You wanna be able to take your dog out to the cafe while you have a coffee and get them a pup cup.

Speaker 1: But guess what? You can't because your family guilts you so much about letting your dog be a dog that they're completely outta fucking control and you can't take 'em anywhere, right? And they're pulling on the leash and you're like a ragdoll at the other end and they're wrapping up the tables and they're jumping on people and they're barking at the dog on the other side.

30:00 — Uncontrolled pulling, barking, jumping, and table-wrapping are not acceptable examples of canine freedom.

Speaker 1: Hell yeah. Just let your dog be a dog. Life is fucking great like this. No, sorry. Those people gotta go. If you have people in your life saying, oh, you should just let your dog be a dog. You need to tell those people we're done. Like seriously keep your trap shut or like, we're just not gonna spend time together. And I don't care who this person is, it is disrespectful to you. They are not the ones that have to live with the dog. And you know what? For the record, I don't actually have a problem with the philosophy.

Speaker 1: Like, if they wanna do that with their dog, great. It's a free country. I don't care. Do whatever you want with your dog, right? As long as you're not harming your dog. But here's the thing, if that's your philosophy, just let the dog be a dog. And by that you mean no training. By that you mean just leave everything optional. The dog doesn't have to learn to listen. The dog doesn't have to learn to control their arousal. The dog can just do what they want all the time. If that's letting a dog be a dog, then you can't trust your dog off leash.

Speaker 1: You have to keep your dog on a leash,

Speaker 1: Right? And frankly, I don't want it around me, right? So if my Aunt <laugh>, if my Aunt Betsy has a dog that she just wants to let be a dog, that's great. She ain't bringing it here for Thanksgiving. Nope. Sorry. Why? Well, because your dog doesn't know any rules and boundaries because your dog can't control itself and that's your fault. Your dog can't come here because of you, not because of me, because of you, right?

Speaker 1: So those people, you have to remember when you're dealing with these people and they're trying to guilt you into, oh, just let your dog be a dog. And they just want, again, I was just talking about this with the customer. They just want love. They just want affection. They just wanna say hi to the dog. What's your fucking point? Like, why does that matter? That is so totally irrelevant and not their business. It's like, yeah, I know my dog just wants to be pet, but guess what I want? I want my dog to prioritize me and be able to follow my instruction in any environment I want that kind of amazing relationship with my dog that is rooted in clear structure and clear boundaries so that my dog can do those things.

Speaker 1: When I say it's okay and I know I can trust them, I know when I do tell my dog it's time to go have a good time, I can trust them. I know they're gonna come back to me. I know they're gonna listen to me. If I see something dangerous or something I don't like, or the behavior of the other dog is going sideways, I know like I can call my dog back to me and they're gonna come. If my dog starts doing something rude to another dog, I can tell them no and they're gonna listen.

33:00 — Real freedom depends on trust that the dog will return, listen, and respond to…

Speaker 1: Right? When I go to a coffee shop, I can sit down and I can enjoy my coffee with my dog. We can share space, we can enjoy each other's company. I know when I'm in the car, the dog's not gonna be in my lap causing an accident, right? But those people don't care about that. They don't care about that. They're selfish and ignorant. What they care about in that moment is them being the nice guy and making you feel like shit, right? And what they like, they like your dog, prioritizing them over you. They like that.

Speaker 1: And then you are the bad guy for not allowing it. It's extremely disrespectful. So I didn't hold back on that one. <laugh> number one. You ready for this one? Guys? This one might surprise you, quote unquote, when used properly. My phone dinged right at that moment and I feel like it kind of stole my thunder there a little bit. I'm gonna say it again, <laugh>. I hate it when anybody says, um, in conversation or when you read text that says this, when used properly, okay, let me just say, there is no reason to ever say this.

Speaker 1: It is so stupid.

Speaker 1: Yeah, no kidding. Nobody prefaces anything with that unless we're talking about an e caller or a prong caller. That's the only time anybody says this. And it drives me fucking nuts. I especially hate it when dog trainers that use these tools say that you are never going to hear me say a prong caller is great when used properly. You're never gonna hear me say that. Why would I have to qualify that? Is there a chance that I think they're amazing when they're not used properly? No. Now it's because it's defending something. So it kind of implies that you think there's also something kind of wrong with the tool.

Speaker 1: And I don't think that, and I don't feel that. So I don't qualify it, okay? I don't say, gee, a toaster is really great when used properly. Like no shit, I'm not gonna take a bath with it. Okay? Of course you have to use it properly. All tools are great when used properly. Like does anybody not know that? Gimme a break. Like, oh, I thought this curling iron would work better if I rubbed it on my forehead to get the lines out. Nope. I found out the hard way it works better when you use it properly.

Speaker 1: Yeah, no kidding. All tools work better when used properly, right? A hammer doesn't work great when you use the wrong end.

Speaker 1: I mean, come on, we, we know that there's no need to preface, right? So people are hedging, right? Because they're afraid. They're afraid of judgment, they're afraid of what people are gonna say. They're trying to defend their belief in their idea, right? They're trying to defend their decision to use these tools by qualifying it while I use them properly. So I'm a saint. No, everybody should use them properly. Everybody already knows that, right? So you're trying to soften the blow with that phrase. And here's the thing, and, and I'm on your side. Like if you're one of these people, I'm not mad at you, right?

37:00 — People qualify tool use because they fear judgment and feel compelled to defend their…

Speaker 1: But you, here's the thing, you shouldn't have to, you shouldn't have to defend yourself by saying something that's obvious.

Speaker 2: You

Speaker 1: Shouldn't have to, right? You shouldn't have to say that you know, you use your crate properly or you use your leash properly. Which by the way, most people don't. A leash is great when used properly. 99% of people do not use their leash properly. <laugh> for the record <laugh>,

Speaker 1: Um, it just goes without saying. So if you find yourself saying that, ask yourself why. So the reason I hate hearing that, um, if I, you know, the reason I hate hearing like someone, like a client of mine saying that is because I can see, I can hear, I can feel that they're defending themselves and that this little piece of them feels guilty about what they're doing because of what everyone around them is saying. Because of the nar narrative on the internet. Because of the stupid people in the Facebook groups, because of, you know, the family member that's, oh, let a dog be a dog.

Speaker 1: You don't have to qualify it with used properly. Prong callers are amazing fucking period ecos are fantastic and have given our customers the ability to be so efficient and so effective and open up the world so much for their dogs. And you know what? I don't have to qualify this with when they use them properly. Like what other option is there? And frankly, you know what? <laugh>, here's the thing you wanna talk about using them properly. Most people don't use e-collar properly. You know why? Because they're too afraid to turn 'em up.

Speaker 1: And you know what? It would be nicer and it would be kinder and it would be better for them and for their dog if they were able to find the backbone and the willingness and the ability to actually turn it up when needed. That would be proper use, right? This nagging business with keeping it real low and telling the dog over and over and over again, that's not proper use. And that's not kind. You're gonna have to do that forever. And one of these days that, because that's basically management, one of these days your management's going to fail.

40:00 — Proper tool use requires turning intensity up when necessary instead of repeatedly applying ineffective…

Speaker 1: So a lot of people are out there saying, oh it's great when you used properly. And you know what, they're not using it properly because they're just nagging their dog because they don't have the gall to do what actually needs to be done. And I'm not saying that it always needs to be high. We do lots of things with an eco, right? But we also have lots of dogs that do dangerous stuff that are highly reactive, aggressive, that are lunging on the leash that, you know, if you let them fixate, they'll escalate potentially and try to attack, right?

Speaker 1: And if your idea of proper use is just letting your dog look and do what we call loading and escalate one of these times, it's going to potentially get away from you.

Speaker 1: And your dog might put holes in somebody. Is that proper use because you're afraid to shut it down. 'cause you're letting people fear and shame you into believing that the tools are bad, that the consequence is bad, right? Dogs that get into the trash, how many things in the trash can kill your dog? Things that are sharp, things that are poisonous, things that can cause an impaction, right? And the proper way to use an eco in that specific context is to turn it way up and make the trash feel awful. The proper use is not putting it on a level eight and tapping your dog on the shoulder and saying, now, now get out of the trash.

Speaker 1: That's not proper use. So a lot of times we're saying quote unquote, when used properly, but what we really mean is when we just keep it low and tap our dog on the shoulder and we kick the can down the road and we nag and we nag and we nag and we have to do it forever, and eventually the dog succeeds at doing the behavior and gets hurt or someone else gets hurt. That's not proper use. That's not proper use, that is spineless. That's what that is.

Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm feeling salty tonight. Like maybe, maybe I had too much salt on my dinner. I don't know <laugh>, but these are the things that get to me and you're never gonna hear me preface anything with when used properly because it goes without saying. And you don't need to defend yourself and your choices from anyone that doesn't live in your household and even the folks that do live in your household, right? But that's another episode <laugh>. That's another episode altogether. Yeah. Tools work best when used properly, but as sure as hell, if you're one of those people saying that, then you better be using your tool properly.

Speaker 1: <laugh>. So I think you have to define too in your head what does that mean? Like what do people mean? Because my point I guess was when people say when used properly, it's not actually what they mean. It's not what they mean at all, right? When we're talking about ecos and prong collars and people say, oh, these are great tools. When they're used properly, that isn't what they mean. What they mean is when you keep them really low and you're gentle and you never succeed at stopping a behavior. That's what most people mean by properly.

Speaker 1: And that is not proper. And it is not kind.

Speaker 1: It's stupid and pointless. That's it guys. <laugh>, that's my number one, is, uh, when used properly <laugh>. Hey, thanks for joining me, uh, today and, and listening to this episode. And don't forget when you use your toaster today that you shouldn't use it in the bathtub. They really are best when used properly <laugh>. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. If there's a topic you'd like to hear discussed, you can send that to me directly at Kati at Diamond Canine dot com via email, so I will link to that email address in the show notes. Thanks for joining us today, guys.

45:00 — Kati closes by urging listeners to stop qualifying obvious truths and take responsibility for…

Speaker 1: Thanks for supporting the podcast and I look forward to the next one.