Q&A: Obedience “Second Chances,” That One Person Who Makes Your Dog Bonkers, Doorway Sits, and More

00:00 — Kati Peppe introduces Off Leash and Unfiltered and explains the podcast’s focus on dog…

Welcome to Off Leash and Unfiltered Trigger Warning. I'm Kati Peppe Delivering the Truth in Dog Training.

Thanks for joining us for another episode of Off Leash and Unfiltered. I'm your host, Kati Peppe and I own Diamond Canine Dog training in Biddeford, Maine. We specialize in eco training for off-leash obedience and behavior modifications, so helping people stop behaviors they don't like. Barking, jumping, getting into the trash and more serious things. Leash, reactivity, aggression, resource guarding. And we love working with nervous and fearful and anxious dogs as well. We also offer puppy programs, so that's who we are and what we do. And this podcast is just our way of sharing everything we see and do and learn every day with you guys.

Everything we're doing with the dogs and with our clients. And our hope is you'll get something out of this that will help you with your own dog. So don't forget to hit subscribe to help support the podcast. We have five q and a questions for you guys today.

These are all questions that I have fielded over the last mm five to seven days working with people and their dogs. So these are questions that we get all the time. These are really common scenarios and so I'm really happy to be digging into these questions today because hopefully there'll be something in here that will make your training go a little bit smoother. So the first question is, my dog lies down when I say sit. Okay. And people wanna know, should I correct that? Should I let it slide? Or how do I fix it? So let me dig into that a little bit.

This is super, super common. So before I get into it, let me just say that one of the biggest reasons this happens is that we will often say sit before we say down. So if you've listened to some of my previous episodes, you may have picked up on the fact that I'm always saying the order you do things in matters, right?

Your dog learns things in sequences. That's how we condition them. That's how they learn associations. So most people, the first thing they teach their dog is to sit. Now when they go to teach their dog to lay down, a lot of times it's easier if the dog is already in a sitting position, right? Because then we can just kind of slide them into a down. So what happens is, instead of just teaching the dog how to lay down, we often will say, sit first and then we'll teach them how to lay down. And then that leads to a pattern of us repeatedly saying, sit down.

Sit down. Right? And so we do teach the dog to lay down, but we teach them that we say sit before they do it. And so that leads to a natural conditioning and a natural association that when you say sit, you're going to ask for down, right?

When you say sit, you actually want them to lay down. So that becomes the connection that gets made. And that's why when we're teaching this stuff, you'll very rarely, I'm not gonna say we never do it, but it's very rare that we'll ask the dog to sit and then we'll ask them to lay down. If we want the dog to lay down, we'll just go straight to the down command. Um, that being said, this is kind of personal preference in my opinion. So a lot of dogs are more comfortable laying down and they would prefer to lay down as opposed to sit, especially if you have a giant a like a dog or dog with bad hips or you know, something like that.

Um, a lot of dogs, they just are more comfortable laying down If you feel like that's your dog. I mean, one of the things you can do is just don't ask for a sit.

04:00 — If a dog naturally prefers lying down and that is acceptable, skip “sit” and…

Like if you think your dog is gonna lay down and they're more comfortable that way and you don't mind that, then just say down. And that way you skip the whole awkward thing where you tell them to sit and they lay down. Um, and that can kind of solve that problem, right? Of course then if they don't lay down, you need to follow through and you need to get that behavior. So, uh, when we're initially teaching the obedience commands, I mean the whole point in the repetition is to teach the dog what the words mean and what behavior we want them to do when we say the word.

So at that phase of training, if we say sit and the dog lays down, we absolutely will guide them right back up into a sit using our leash, right? Because we want them to know the difference between sitting down.

That's the whole point in the exercise. So we're just wasting our time if we're not going to do that. Um, so we will, we will do that. However, when we go out and we start working the dog in public, especially if we're in a really challenging situation and I think it's a little overwhelming for the dog, if I say sit and they lay down, am I going to address that? Probably not. To be honest, it depends a little bit on the dog. So if I know the owner really wants their dog to be able to differentiate between these commands and they want to keep them clean, then I, I can do that and I usually will.

Um, but again, there, there's some gravity here, um, placed on just the dog's personality and their personal challenges. So for instance, I will usually let that slide because I feel like the dog's actually giving me more than I'm asking for.

If we're in a really excitable, overwhelming situation and it's hard for the dog to shut off, it's hard for the dog to settle and I ask them for a sit and they lay down, I mean great, I'm usually gonna let that slide. Some of the exceptions would be if I have a dog that's extremely nervous, so, and they're kind of pancaking to the ground because they're trying to melt, right? They're hoping they can just sort of melt into a puddle and disappear and like no one's gonna see them or talk to them <laugh>. Uh, I'm not gonna ask them to do any scary things.

If I have a dog like that, I'm absolutely gonna hold them accountable for their sit. I'm gonna guide them right back up into a sit if they need the help. Um, because I'm trying to build confidence and I don't want them being able to resort to that old coping mechanism of trying to disappear 'cause we won't grow confidence that way.

So that's one big exception to me where I actually will hold the dog to the standard of a sit. Um, I also might do that if I have a dog that I know is just really pushy and independent and just really doesn't like doing what they're told and they're always trying to do something different than what I've asked them to do, like in that situation, I might also hold them accountable for the specific thing that I asked for. But other than that, I don't usually make a big deal out of it. If every once in a while I say sit and the dog lays down no big deal, we're not doing competition obedience here.

It's not that important to us. And so I usually let it slide. I don't split hairs about that, like I said, unless it's one of those specific contexts. But it's personal preference.

You absolutely can. I think it's just really important if you're gonna do that, to be consistent, to make sure the other people in your house are being consistent and that they know if they say sit and the dog lays down, that we're supposed to follow through and get the behavior we ask for, um, until it becomes um, solid. So, and I think it's really easy to say we're gonna do that, but then when we're in social situations and we're kind of preoccupied with something else to not follow through and then that's just silly because now we're being inconsistent, right?

08:00 — Consistency must continue beyond formal training sessions, including social situations where handlers are distracted.

So consistent doesn't just mean when you're in a training session with the dog or when you've carved out time to work on something, it means all the time. It means during real life it means when you have company, it means when you're going places and you have the dog with you, consistent means all the time <laugh>.

So if that's what you want, then that's fine, but be consistent. And once your dog knows these commands really well and you know they know the difference, you can absolutely use a little correction for doing the wrong behavior, right? And you can reintroduce reward for doing the correct behavior, right? If they do the correct behavior the first time you ask for it, you can reintroduce a little food and that might help strengthen that behavior back up again. Okay, question number two, this is a common one as well. So should I give my dog a warning or a second chance before I just correct him?

So people worry a lot that like their dog's confused or their dog didn't hear them. But like that's kind of the point in the training, right? Is to make sure we clarify confusion, right? So we're teaching your dog things, we're strengthening things and eventually cementing things.

And your dog should know after dozens and dozens and hundreds of repetitions what behavior is expected. Um, once you've done that and you know that they know there's no reason to give your dog a second chance. So it sounds mean, it sounds like we're being really militant or like we're being bullies, but the fact is we want our dogs to listen the first time we ask them to do something. I don't know anybody. I've never had a client tell me, no, no, no, we want our dog to listen the third time we ask for command or the even the second time we ask.

Nobody says that. That's nobody's goal. Yet the philosophy that most people have adopted is one that will result in teaching your dog not to listen the first time. So I did a whole episode on this, I can't remember what number it is.

Um, but if you go back, you'll see it I have an episode on you're teaching your dog not to listen the first time. Um, because it's a super common mistake. You have to pattern what you want. You have again, it's like the fence scenario, right? It's like if there's no consequence the first time, then that first time will keep recurring 'cause there's no reason for it not to. And what we find is that again, people think their dogs like maybe don't hear them like especially if they're not looking at them. But what we see time and time again is that we see this a lot in our go home lessons.

The owner will give the dog a command, the dog won't listen, might even be walking away. The owner turns on the e-collar and suddenly the dog does the command. They don't even have to repeat it.

And so that tells us right away, the dog did hear them and the dog did know how to do it because otherwise turning on that eco wouldn't have done anything, right? The dog wouldn't magically snap into the behavior if they didn't know it or they didn't hear it. So obviously they did, right? So I'm not saying that's always the case, but that's super, super common. And so the way you avoid that is you actually do hold your dog accountable after the very first command. 'cause that's the only way that you're going to make the behavior reliable after the first command.

And so even if you don't have eco training in place and you don't have an eco on your dog, if you have your dog on a leash and prong and you say sit or you say down and your dog doesn't comply, you can then go ahead and give them a leash pop and repeat the command, right?

12:00 — Without an e-collar, use a leash and prong correction followed by repeating the command…

So there has to be some kind of feedback happening that disagrees with that non-compliance, some kind of feedback loop that says you have to listen the first time. Um, and that doesn't mean that you necessarily have to light your dog up like a Christmas tree, right? But if you just let it slide, you just repeat the command. All you're doing is devaluing your command and literally training your dog not to listen the first time. 'cause there's no reason to <laugh>. So that's what we're seeing. Question number three. My dog really struggles in certain contexts and I don't know how to fix it.

So my dog is really good at things like laying down and place and basic obedience. But when Uncle Joe comes over, it's a nightmare, right? So I hear this a lot that dogs have like certain dog friends or certain family members that they're just absolutely head over heels about and they just completely lose it when that person comes over.

This is super common. And so I wanna go over a couple of reasons why this might be and what to do about it. So this can be really challenging for people. And part of the reason this can be super challenging is because it partially involves dealing with the people, right? You have to set boundaries not just for your dog but for your guests as well, people. So it isn't fair to hold your dog to this super high standard and then have people come in and first of all, undermine you, which isn't fair to you. Um, and tempt your dog intentionally to do things that you don't want them doing.

So they come in, they see that your dog is on place, but that the dog is super excited and barely holding it together and they start calling your dog over and like talking in this high pitch excitable voice.

And next thing you know, your dog is off the place, caught all wiggly peeing all over your floor 'cause they're excited, <laugh>, whatever it is your dog does, jumping all over guests maybe, right? Um, hopefully you address that if that's happening. Separate issue. But anyway, that's not fair. It's not fair to you, it's not fair to your dog. So that's not really just a dog training issue. That is a setting boundaries issue. And there's a saying out there that setting boundaries requires the other person to do nothing. So when you feel a little self-conscious, you feel a little nervous about putting those boundaries in place with people.

Just remember you're not asking them for anything. They don't have to do anything for you. That's not what you're asking. You're asking them to respect a boundary in your home, right? Because you should be able to have standards in your home and standards for your dog.

15:00 — Guests should ignore an excited dog when necessary because the boundary concerns behavior in…

And if you need them to come in and ignore your dog, then that's a very reasonable request. And if they can't do that, then maybe they can't come to your house and I don't care who they are. Because you deserve that level of respect and authority in your own home. You're not asking for that much. Now, if you're asking people to come in and whisper and avoid looking at the dog, you know, keep their voices down, walk slowly like walking on eggshells, that's different. Your dog needs to be able to tolerate normal life. Can't get enough of this dog training stuff.

Well, I have great news. We're going to start offering an inexpensive paid subscription where you can get access to our new exciting bonus content. It's just one more way that you can help support the podcast. But even if you can't do that, just leaving us a review and hitting subscribe is hugely appreciated.

And of course, don't forget to tell your friends about the podcast 'cause you and I know they have issues with their dogs. And this way they won't have to get mad at you for saying it because I'm saying it. <laugh>, thank you for being here guys, and thank you for your support. So there's a fine line here, right? There's a balance because yes, your company should be able to respect your boundaries and not like literally call your dog off place or go over and like give your dog tons of attention if they're not in a head space where they can handle that yet.

But at the same time, you shouldn't have to be all weird and act abnormal, right? And be super quiet like your dog should be able to tolerate normalcy. That being said, some dogs, this is easier than others, right? And you might have to meet your dog where they are and do what I said and have people kind of ignore them for a little while. You shouldn't really have to do that forever. But if you have to do it for now, do it.

Um, so the reason, the most common reason that this happens is because we haven't supplied some the, the necessary feedback to keep arousal down, right? So your dog getting crazy excited when this person comes over. And this sounds really mean to people, but you should absolutely correct your dog for that. I'm not saying they can't be happy to see the person or that they can't spend time and say hi to the person at some point, but you are literally allowing your dog to choose to go off a cliff behaviorally. There's no other way to see that Your dog's making a decision that there's an environmental factor that takes priority over you, over your standards and over your rules and everything goes out the window and they're not gonna listen to you anymore.

You're no longer relevant because this environmental cue has appeared. And that's just not okay in my household.

That's not okay in my book. And that's not what we teach our clients. You either want your dog to be able to listen to you and control themselves or you don't. And you can't have it both ways. You can't say, I understand that you might love the relationship your dog has with this other person, but you're either gonna prioritize that over your training or you're not. And the thing is, they can still have a great relationship, right? It just, they can't take priority over you and over your training, you either allow it or you don't, both for the person and the dog <laugh>.

Okay? So most of the time we're lacking that correction that tells our dog that level of excitement isn't okay. And then in addition to that, the dog breaks place and we're using a correction that's just too low, right? We're using the same correction we did when it was just us here with the dog and there was nothing going on.

19:00 — A correction that works in quiet conditions may be too weak when a highly…

And that just isn't gonna stick. At some point, you're going to have to up that level, you're going to have to increase the intensity, you're going to have to make it count. And especially if your dog is that amped up, they're not even gonna notice your lower correction that you were using before. That's really common. 'cause as your dog escalates, of course all the receptors in the brain become dulled. They don't notice things the same way guys. They don't feel them the same way. And even if they do notice it, they don't care about it the same way it's deprioritized in the brain.

You cannot, if you're using a five when things are quiet at home and you're alone with your dog and that's cleaned things up nicely, fine. But I'll tell you what, when that person comes through the door, your dog won't give two shits about your five.

That's almost a guarantee. And that's normal. That's nothing wrong with with your dog. That's something's wrong with the training. So that's what's missing in your process. Usually we just need to up that consequence. And that might be a really sloppy, messy moment when we do that. And you know what? That's okay. So remind yourself it's not a performance, okay? It's training. And so what's gonna happen? That person's gonna come through your door, your dog's gonna break their command, you're gonna mark it with a no. You're gonna correct them much higher than you have before, and then you're gonna go help them get back if they need help, okay?

And I bet you the next time it looks different. That's how those things usually work. The first time or two, it might be a little sloppy. That doesn't mean the learning isn't happening. You gotta give it a chance.

But ultimately at the end of the day, if most dogs, most dogs that know the command, well if they keep breaking it, they're telling you that that consequence just isn't meaningful enough. Um, and then lastly, use a tieback. Right? So your dog at least can't go bounding through the house being a maniac 'cause that's really annoying. And they get that moment of reinforcement, right for breaking the command. They get that hit of adrenaline and dopamine and it feels good. Don't let them get that. Keep them on a tieback. So if they make a mistake, at least they can't go very far.

Right to, so just to sum up what I would do about this if it was me and what we tell people to do is, number one, you need a conversation with your guests about what is and isn't allowed. And it can't be it all extensive and weird and asking them to do abnormal things. It's like, just please ignore the dog, right? So you're not asking them to do anything, you're just asking them not to give attention to the dog right? Now. The second thing that I would do is put your dog on a tieback just until you know you can trust them, not forever.

And the third thing I would do is I would use a higher consequence when they're breaking that command.

Now, if you are using a really high consequence and that's not cleaning it up, then there might be something else going on that you need to address in your training. It might be that your dog doesn't know the command as well as you thought they did. It might be that your dog is extremely anxious or fearful and needs chipping away in at other times during the day. Um, so there can be other ways of gaining some leverage in these situations. And your dog might just be one of those dogs, but most dogs the average dog, it's just, they need to know that the consequence for breaking that command, it's gonna be uncomfortable and it's not worth it.

23:00 — Release a dog from place only after it is genuinely calm, rather than while…

And they're better off to stay there until you tell them they can come off. And by the way, as a side note, don't tell your dog they can come off until they are completely chill.

Otherwise we're just perpetuating that state of excitement and that's gonna work against you. Number four, should I make my dog sit at the door? Or more accurately? People say, why shouldn't I make my dog sit at the door? Because we always tell people not to do that. And this is a great question. And here's the thing. I don't really have a problem with your dog sitting at the door. If you like your dog to sit at the door, then that's great. Have your dog sit at the door. But you shouldn't have to say it every time you go to the door, you just shouldn't.

Why? Well, because you're creating a totally different state of mind with your dog. So as I said earlier, you really shouldn't need a command. I don't know if I said that in this episode or if it was my previous episode, but I've say this all the time, you shouldn't need to give your dog a command to stop doing a bad behavior.

Okay? This is sort of the same thing, right? We tell our dogs to sit at the door because we want them to be polite and we don't want them to barrel us over and we don't want them to run through the door. And I get it, but they should just know that, right? If you go to the door and you give them instruction every time so that you can avoid those things, what you're really avoiding is the conversation that you want to have. You wanna have the conversation that says, don't run through the door. Don't be a jerk at the door.

Don't barrel over me, don't bump into me. Don't run out into the road, right? You are avoiding having that conversation and you're gonna have to say, sit for the rest of your dog's life every time you go to the door. Because here's the thing, people seem to kind of think like the logic out there seems to be that if I just ask my dog to do something in a situation, they'll just do it naturally on their own once they know what I want and no they won't <laugh>.

No they won't, they just won't, right? 'cause they're gonna do what comes naturally. That's what dogs do. And that's not necessarily gonna just start becoming part of their natural repertoire, especially if they're a little excited, they're not gonna do it on their own. What's going to prompt them to start doing it on their own is of course accountability. So if you truly want a sit at the door, right? Not because you're trying to avoid all this bad stuff, but just because you like us, sit at the door, fine, then do that. But don't say it.

26:00 — To build a sit at the door, remove the verbal cue and use accountability…

People go, huh, well how am I supposed to get it? Well, exactly the whole idea is it's an expectation, right? We want our dogs to know the rules, to know the standards, and to give us the correct behaviors at these things that we're doing every single day, multiple times a day.

Like how many times a day does your dog go through a frigging door? How many times should you have to ask them to do the thing you want? At some point you have to start expecting it. And so the way we do that is we'll use very low level e-collar, right? And we'll just start after we've done the door a couple dozen times and we've asked them to sit, we'll just start tapping the e-collar at the door. If they don't sit, no verbal. And what we'll see happen usually within a few reps is we no longer have to say sit and we no longer have to tap.

However, I'm a really big fan of just walking up to the door and just expecting your dog to be polite. Just let your dog make a choice and just give your dog feedback. That's a huge, huge part of our training program. And I think it's a huge reason we're so successful at changing the mindset of dogs, guys. It's because we let them make choices. Okay? So for moments that you know you're going to be having with your dog day in and day out multiple times a day, those are the moments where you really wanna rehearse.

Just let your dog make a choice. And if it's not the right choice, tell 'em,

Give 'em a little tap on the e-collar or a little pop on the leash, okay? And if it is the right choice, then you can say good <laugh>, right? So it's really, really powerful to just allow your dog to make a choice. Then you provide the feedback and it's a beautiful thing that happens because your dog starts to offer you the behavior you want every time you're in that moment without you doing anything. And that is a wonderful relationship to have with your dog where they know your standard and they just do it,

Right? That's, that's as good as it gets if you ask me last question, my dog seems to put himself on place and then get confused and think he can't come off. So we get this one a lot too. This is really common. This I think happens to everybody when they teach this command. Um, and so there's a couple different ways you can handle that if you see your dog is on their place caught, right? And this is assuming your dog knows place, you've gone through the training, you've taught 'em the place command and that they're supposed to stay there.

29:00 — Self-placing dogs require a clear rule about whether being on the cot means staying…

A lot of dogs will just put themselves on there because they like it. It's comfy. A lot of dogs like their cot. And then you'll see them kind of looking at you with shifty eyes like they don't know if they can get off. Well, if you see that happening, you can just release your dog, whatever your release word is, ours is break and your dog will probably just come off then and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. Um, the one thing I worry about in that situation is if you have multiple people in the household and you have multiple people who could put your dog on place or release your dog from place, you might not have any way of knowing if

The dog is supposed to be there or not, right? So the risk here is that your dog will be laying on the cot and you'll see them wander off.

And if you don't know if somebody put them there with the place command, then you won't know whether or not to hold them accountable for it. So that's the bigger problem. The problem isn't so much that your dog thinks they're stuck on there and they don't know if they need to wait for a release. Like that's fine, right? But it's the opposite problem where your dog wanders off and we don't know if they should be or not because someone else may have placed them there. So if that's a risk for you, then I really recommend making your place caught a 110% you are on place when you were there.

And that way there's no doubt in your mind that you should address it if they get off. Meaning if your dog goes there on their own and lays down, that's it, they've placed themselves and they can't get off there now until you release them.

That just avoids inconsistencies. The other thing you could do is you could just pick the co up when you're not placing your dog. So then it's just not even an issue, right? So there's several ways you can handle it and it really doesn't matter which one you choose. As long as you're consistent, everyone in your household needs to be on the same page and you all need to know what's going on. And everyone needs to be committed to doing the same thing. Um, lest everything just turn into chaos. <laugh>, right? And all of your commands just kind of devolve into meaninglessness and the dog's just kind of doing whatever they want.

So handle it however you want, as long as you're consistent. And that my friend, are the answers to some of the most common questions that we get regarding obedience training. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. If there's a topic you'd like to hear discussed, you can send that to me directly at Kati at Diamond Canine dot com via email. So I will link to that email address in the show notes. Thanks for joining us today, guys. Thanks for supporting the podcast and I look forward to the next one.