Strategies For Dogs That Have A History Of Reactivity Around Friends And Family

00:00 — Kati Peppe opens Off Leash and Unfiltered and asks listeners to subscribe and follow.

Welcome to Off Leash and Unfiltered. Trigger warning. I'm Kati Peppe, delivering the truth in dog training.

Hey everybody, this is your host, Kati Peppe. Before we jump in, I just wanted to take a quick second and remind you to hit the subscribe button because that helps us so, so, so much. We appreciate every subscribe and follow, and we have so much valuable information we wanna share with you. So we don't want you to miss an episode. Without further ado, let's jump in. Hey everyone, welcome back. It's a Friday today. Have my coffee. I'm feeling pretty good. Um, that's a joke because Friday is the same as any other day. Me, <laugh>. Some people think that sounds pretty sad.

Um, but it's not. I'm living the dream. Friday, Tuesday makes no, no, nevermind. To me it's all, it's all, it's all good. Every day is a good day. So, but I will say I only allow myself a couple of coffees a week, and usually Friday is one of those days.

So I do have a little extra pep in my step today, <laugh>, which is good because Jenny goes home today. It's an exciting day. Um, unfortunately Joyce won't be here to join me for that go-home lesson, so that kind of sucks. Um, but it should be fairly easy. They've done, this is their fourth go-home lesson <laugh> with me. So I think it's kind of just a formality. Um, at this point it should not be a big deal. I expect it will be very smooth sailing and Jenny's laying here, um, on the floor in the office while I do this podcast.

And so is Zi. So I have, I'm in good company today. Um, and we're gonna talk about this good, because I, I just got this question this morning, or maybe it was last night. <laugh>, it all kind of runs together, you guys. Um, but so if you feel like you can't trust your dog a hundred percent with other people, meaning your dog sometimes exhibits some concerning behavior, um, toward other people.

And actually this dog used to exhibit, and when I say this dog, I mean the person that actually asked me this question recently, um, this dog used to exhibit those behaviors with his owners. I don't think that's happening anymore. Um, maybe I should ask 'cause I'm not actually a hundred percent sure, but it doesn't sound like it. Um, but sometimes when other people approach the dog in certain context, um, he will exhibit some untoward behavior, some growling, and even a snap. So we're gonna talk about what do you do, because it's interesting because this dog in particular is actually a pretty social, happy-go-lucky type dog.

03:00 — Kati describes the dog as a typical Lab that excelled in training without displaying…

You know, I don't really like using those terms, but just to give you an idea, like what his personality is like. Um, he's a Lab and he seemed like a pretty typical Lab when he was here.

Um, he did the slightly extended program for behavioral stuff and he excelled. And we honestly never saw any of that behavior from him while he was here. Um, he was developing a habit of growling at his owners if they tried to move him or touch him when he was resting and that sort of thing. And let me be clear, like we're pretty big on like, let sleeping dogs lie, right? We, you don't need to bother the dog when they're sleeping, but you shouldn't have to be afraid to either, you know what I mean? It shouldn't be, oh, we have to kiss our dog's toes.

Um, you should be able to get the behaviors you want from your dog without worrying that <laugh> they're gonna bite you, right? Um, certainly. But usually we do that through accountability for commands, right? So for instance, um, if you have a guarding dog, yes, we're gonna correct the guarding, but we're also never gonna go grab something outta that dog's mouth physically.

We're just not gonna do it. It's a stupid thing to do. Uh, and you're asking to have a confrontation. So it's kind of the same thing, like if you have to move your dog, we're not gonna just go over and physically grab the dog and move them. We're gonna tell the dog to fucking move, right? And they have to do it <laugh> when you tell them to. Uh, so that's how that generally works. But any untoward behavior, we always correct that right there. We're not gonna let that slide, uh, because it's not okay. And because we don't want people relying entirely on management.

So that doesn't mean, um, be reckless with your dog, right? It's like, no, we wanna be smart with our dog. We don't wanna put them in situations we shouldn't. We wanna advocate for them, um, all those things. But we also wanna have some training in place where we create the safest version of our dog possible.

And so if you have a dog where they seem, and actually my dog falls into this category, so we'll talk about him too. Um, if you have a dog who seems like kind of a happy social guy and affectionate guy, but then in some situations like he's doing things that alarm you, growling at people, snapping at people, um, let's talk about how you should handle that and how you should move forward. So first off, and I know I've said this probably a million times, but I'm gonna say it again <laugh>, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. Your dog is for you.

They are not there for other people. You are not obligated to let people interact with your dog. There's this, like, cultural shift where dogs are, especially if you have them out in public, the idea is that they are there for everybody else's entertainment.

06:00 — Owners are not obligated to let others interact with dogs brought to parks, trails,…

It's like, no, I'm spending time with my dog either because I just want to, or I'm working with my dog, or retraining or whatever. Doesn't matter. I didn't bring my dog to the park, on a walk, on a trail, to a cafe for you. I didn't. They're not there for you and you don't need to touch my dog <laugh>. So, so don't feel like you are obligated to allow people to interact with your dog, even friends and family, right? If you are not a hundred percent comfortable and confident, or you don't think your dog's a hundred percent comfortable with it, then just don't.

Right? And the best thing you can do is already have that boundary set and cemented in your head because if you are not sure how you feel about it or if it's okay, or if you should do it, then when the situation arises, you don't know what to do and you're wishy and you're washy and you're, you let things go.

You shouldn't, you know, and you end up with regrets later. And so it's like, no, if you are not a hundred percent confident that your dog is comfortable with it and that it's totally fine and you're fine with it, then your answer should just be no. Like, don't touch my dog. And you want to already have that cemented in your head because you don't wanna be trying to make that decision in the moment, guys, and I say this about everything dog-training-related. When it comes to touching your dog, when it comes to people having something to say about the way you train your dog, all those scenarios, whatever the thing is that you run into that makes you uncomfortable or that you're not sure about, those things, you have to have a rule in your head for yourself.

Like, this is how I respond to this, right?

And that way, when the time comes, you don't have to think about it. You're not spending time doing math on something, um, that you should already have the answer to, right? 'Cause then you're gonna be wishy-washy and you're gonna violate your own boundaries and you're gonna do things you regret, um, because maybe you don't know what the right thing is to do, but you, you gotta have, you gotta have those boundaries already ironed out in your mind so that you can, um, implement them without, you know, all of the trying to figure it out in the moment.

It's just not, it's just not a good situation to be in. It's not a good position to put yourself in. Excuse me, I'm just getting over a head cold. And so I'm still kind of raspy <laugh>.

09:00 — If you cannot confidently allow an interaction, Kati recommends a firm no-touch boundary.

Um, so have those boundaries already figured out in your mind. If you're not a hundred percent comfortable, then just take the, that question off the table, right? There should be no ifs, ands, buts about it. If you are not a hundred percent confident, then it's a hard no. If you don't know your dog is a hundred percent comfortable, it's just a hard no. Don't touch my dog. And there's nothing wrong with that. You no reason to feel guilty about that. You are not obligated to anybody and it doesn't make your dog weird or bad. This cultural idea that, like, all dogs should tolerate all touching from anybody at any time is so stupid.

Your dog is not a teddy bear. They are a real live animal. Autonomous. They make decisions and they just do what comes naturally. And so a lot of dogs are not comfortable getting attention, being touched, having their space invaded by people they don't know or that they don't know well, and they don't have that relationship with.

And for some reason, we're all shocked when some dogs respond poorly to that. Oh my God, no. Guess what? It's normal, right? And I'm not saying you shouldn't do anything about it, but I'm saying it's normal and it shouldn't be surprising and it should be perfectly fine and normal. We need to normalize people having boundaries around their dog. Don't touch my dog. I never let people touch my dog or any of the training dogs when we go out places. There's no reason to do that. Um, so don't feel bad if your dog isn't comfortable with that or you are not comfortable with that. That's totally fine.

And it is your, you are the only one that can stand up for yourself and your boundaries and advocate for your dog. There is nobody else to do it, guys. So you have to be willing to do that.

And the best thing you can do for yourself is have that response all ready, ready to go in your head so you can just whip it out when it's time. And you don't have to be wishy-washy or indecisive about it, um, because that could come back to bite you in the butt, literally <laugh>. Okay? So a no-pet policy is a great idea for those dogs. Um, huge, huge, huge proponent of that. But that being said, you do wanna make your dog the safest dog possible, right? So we always approach these things from both ends.

It's like safest dog possible. And we don't put them in positions we shouldn't. And so that can be a little tricky though sometimes, right? Because to create the safest dog possible, generally we wanna put them in situations where they'll make bad decisions and we wanna give them that feedback, right?

And so if you have a dog that snaps at people, it's like, well, you can't just have people walking up to 'em and let 'em snap, right? Because that's not safe. Someone's gonna get bit, can't do that. But what you can do is you can correct other untoward behavior that comes before the snap. So you can put your dog in those positions and you can correct him for the side-eye, the staring, the growling, any of that stuff without actually having them make contact, right? Because that's irresponsible. Um, you, you know, you can even put a muzzle on your dog if, uh, if the situation dictates that that's a necessity or that that would be helpful. Um, you can use a tieback, right?

So, um, in this case, the person that was asking me this question recently, um, their dog tends to snap only when they're on their bed.

13:00 — Kati describes a bed-and-tieback setup where someone approaches without touching or entering biting range.

So it's like, okay, well you could put your dog on a bed and you could put them on a tieback and have somebody approach without actually touching them, right? Because again, you can't put other people in a position where they're gonna get bit, guys. Um, but if you have someone that can follow instructions and can stay a safe distance from the dog and just basically tip the dog a little bit over that line where they feel, um, like they need to start guarding their bed or whatever it is they're doing, um, then that gives you a chance to address that, right?

So the second the dog starts staring, starts stiffening up, right? Then you can say no and you can rock that dog's world. And you know what? I would <laugh>, I absolutely would. It's like I always tell people, you know, it's funny, we joked that maybe this should be my tagline, this should be my slogan.

Uh, if you wanna put something to bed, put it to bed, right? Stop fucking around when the guys, it's like, yes, there are some things that are a little more complex than this, but there are some things that are not okay. If you growl at somebody, if you threaten somebody, God for fucking forbid you snap at somebody, huh? Boy, your life is gonna flash before your eyes, right? There's gonna be a real consequence for that because I never wanna see that again. It is so not okay, right? And I don't wanna mess around with this for the rest of my dog's life, okay?

My dog's gonna live another 5, 10, 12 years. I don't wanna spend it, "Well, I hope he doesn't bite somebody. Well, I hope he doesn't bite somebody." Now I'm gonna make damn sure he knows that behavior's not okay.

Right? And then we can work on rehearsing some other stuff and normalizing some better behavior so it becomes easier and more natural for him and he becomes more comfortable. But the first thing we do is we have that conversation, okay? So we're gonna create a much safer dog that way. Um, and here's a little secret too, something that can be very effective if your dog is good with you, but he tends to give other people some shit. Especially if you have other people like watching your dog, right? And you're not even around. Like you have to attach accountability to other people.

So an easy way to do this is just have somebody, you know, whether it's, it could be somebody the dog is disrespectful toward or it could just be some somebody the dog doesn't have a relationship with, someone the dog hasn't even met before. It doesn't really matter. But basically we want the dog to start to generalize over to other people that they have the same authority you do, and that they carry the same consequences and standards that you do, that they also have these magic powers that you do, meaning e-collar, right? And so that's really easy to do with the e-collar. You can do it without it too, but it's more difficult, right?

So, but super easy if you have someone you trust, right? And someone that is willing to participate, literally all they have to do is look at your dog and say no.

And then you are gonna follow up with at least a moderate consequence, right? So, and yeah, you could put the dog in a position where they kind of do something they're not supposed to, um, they get too excited or they're jumping or they're not listening, they're not following commands or something like that. But you don't have to, right? So people tend to overthink this. It's like you're, this isn't something you're gonna do constantly, right? You're gonna do this a couple times with maybe a couple different people. It doesn't matter what the dog is doing, don't overthink it.

17:00 — Kati proposes pairing another person’s verbal “no” with a correction to establish that person’s…

So the whole point in this exercise is just to connect somebody else's no with an actual tangible consequence, right? Just have them say no and then you follow up with a correction. Do that a couple times.

Does it mean no because your dog has told you, he's already told you he doesn't have respect for other people and he's willing to use his teeth or threaten to. And so, so if you're fine with that, then fine <laugh>. I'm not, right? So I'm gonna teach my dog that other people have all these same powers and same authority and deserve the same respect I do. And if I can do that in like literally two split seconds, that makes no sense, but I'll edit that out <laugh>. Sure I will. Um, if I can do that in just a couple of seconds, am I gonna do that?

Yeah, I'm gonna do that. And so that's the point is it puts another tool in your tool chest, it puts another memory in your dog's head, it creates another experience, something different that they haven't experienced before, which is, oh, strangers have authority and standards and it garners some respect for them.

And we do this for kids all the time, right? So you can have someone else say no and then you can provide the correction. And I would even recommend that you drop into the background a little bit, right? Instead of you standing right there, especially like holding the remote up, you fall into the background, you don't even have to be in the room, right? Again, if it's safe, right? I'm not telling you to take like a super aggressive dog, have them free roaming around a stranger and correct them. Like that's not what I'm saying, right?

Common sense and safety. So I just wanna add that little side note in here 'cause you know, people will do that. Um, those are, that's a different situation.

So I'm just talking about a dog that has very specific contexts where it has some untoward behavior, right? Or it's demonstrated in the past that it just doesn't have the same level of respect for other people. Not a dog that is actively trying to attack people under normal conditions. That, no, that's not what I'm talking about. That's another, a different scenario. <laugh> Um, that involves a lot more work, right? But if you have a dog that's already trained, especially you could do this, you could also have that person give them a command and issue a correction at the same time, again, regardless of what the dog does.

'Cause it's not about that. This isn't about the dog did something good or the dog did something bad or did what they were supposed to or didn't do what they were supposed to. You have to get all of that outta your head.

And this is just about tying gravity to the person so they can say no, give a higher correction. They could say place and give a correction. Or they could just say the words and you can give the correction. And you can even do that from around the corner, right? You don't have to be right up there in their business because then the dog is still kind of associating all this with you, right? But if you're not even in the picture, right? Or if you're at least in the background and it's the person that's up there with the dog, then all of a sudden all of this stuff that you have with the dog, it's tied to the person.

It's like, oh, them too.

Love the show? Well, I have great news. We are offering an inexpensive subscription to our new premium content. This is content that isn't available to the general public. We make it just for our subscribers. We're gonna cover a variety of new topics in these episodes and I think it's gonna be a ton of fun. So you can jump right down into the show notes to get that website address and then skip over there and sign up for this premium content. Just wanted to take a second to let you guys know about that. Thank you so much for your support.

And now on with the show. I guess I need to be a little bit nicer to them, right? And then I'm not saying that they should go and love on the dog and make out with the dog after. I'm not saying that, right? But this is just about creating a safer dog with a little more respect.

22:00 — Kati recommends shared walks and place-command practice to build relationships before adding affection and…

And I will say the fastest way to build a relationship with the dog is not through all the love and the petting and the kissing and the playing. And it's do some work. Let's work together. Let's walk together. Let's put you on place and hold you accountable for it. <laugh> Let's invite you off when I say it's time to come off, right? That builds a relationship with the dog. And then you can add in all the fun stuff afterwards. But everyone wants to do it backwards, right? Everyone wants to do it backwards. So if you have friends or family that you frequently have over, right?

And you would feel better having them develop a relationship with your dog so you can feel a little bit less tense about it, less worried about it, okay? Do these things in a safe manner. Like I can't say that enough, right?

So it depends on your dog. Like I'm thinking of the dog in the situation with the people that called me this morning or texted me this morning. But not every dog is like that, right? If you have a dog that just goes after people, that's not, that's not the dog you wanna put in this situation, right? Unless you're experienced and you are using a lot of safety protocols to keep everyone safe, um, this is just for the dog that's a little disrespectful, right? Or that sometimes might use his teeth in certain situations. Um, like if somebody reaches for the dog, like a lot of dogs bite in that situation, right?

So they shouldn't do that, but they should do these other things to say, hey, you know what, I, uh, I actually deserve a little respect, right? And then once you do that, that doesn't mean go put your hand in the dog's face right away, right? No.

We can work on building that relationship later, right? Now let's establish that you have rules for the dog as a stranger, right? 'Cause the dog's gonna be like, whoa, I had no idea. And it's gonna change things, guys. It's gonna change things a lot. Um, but the other thing I will say is, like I said, I never saw that behavior. We never saw that from that dog at all. Not anything even close. And so when that happens, and it's not uncommon when that happens, I have to, I have to assume that there are things missing.

There are things missing. Meaning we're not holding the dog to account in its day-to-day life in a way that convinces him he needs to be the best version of himself. So it's funny 'cause people say all the time that they don't wanna strip their dog of their personality, um, you know, things of that nature. And we can't do that. I cannot change who your dog is. Like even if I wanted to, I can't. My job would honestly be easier if I could because we get a lot of dogs that need a personality change <laugh>, at least in some ways.

25:00 — Training does not change a dog’s personality, Kati explains, despite owners’ hopes or concerns…

Um, we get some personalities in here that could use some work. Uh, but we can't do that. I cannot change who your dog is. And so that's the thing. People think they're gonna send their dog for training and there's gonna be like this magic switch, right? And we're just gonna change who the dog is, right? So if they have a, a dog that's not really exhibiting any serious behavioral issues, then they're really worried that you're gonna change their personality. But if they have a dog with some serious personality flaws, some serious behavioral flaws, um, or just things that we find unacceptable, then it's like they're hoping and just expecting and assuming that you can change their dog's personality.

And so I've got good or bad news for you, depending on which side of the fence you're on. We can't change your dog's personality. So that's probably good news, right? If you love everything about your dog and you just want them to listen, but it's probably bad news for you if you have a dog with some serious behavioral issues. But here's the thing, that doesn't mean they can't make different choices. We teach them to make different choices. We teach them to be the best version of themselves. Um, and we inhibit those behaviors we don't like.

But when we see those resurface at home, that tells us that we're not holding the dog to account all day, right? So if you go through the little moments in your day and your dog's kind of whizzing out of the kennel when you open the door, you have to start telling them to sit again before you feed them because they've lost that automatic must not go near the food until told to, to the automatic piece is important, guys, no commands the food dish. Um, right? Your dog is breaking their down multiple times and you have to nag them.

Um, things like that. Things like that, right? And we're just kind of going through our everyday life that way. Well, guess what? Your dog is doing what comes naturally instead of what they've been taught to do. And so when you put your dog in this situation where they've had problems before, guess what they're gonna do? They're gonna do what comes naturally instead of what they've been taught to do.

So, and that's the thing, your dog, if they've done this stuff, like if they've growled at people, snapped at people, they've already told you, that's what comes naturally to them. We already know that that's who your dog is. We can't change that. We can only change the decisions they make, right? But your dog isn't gonna make different decisions if they're allowed to go through the whole day doing what comes naturally. Then of course when you put them in that situation where they've had a hard time before, they're gonna do what comes naturally because that's what they always do, right?

28:00 — Kati says both dogs and people have rules, even when a person’s actions precede…

And so that's why accountability all day long is important.

So if my dog made a poor decision and he growled at someone, he snapped at someone, there's gonna be a high consequence for that, even if it's the person's fault, right? So again, both and, right? It's like my dog and my person, they both have rules. Uh, they both have boundaries, both have expectations. And if they're violated, if they make a poor choice, if they don't follow my instruction, any of those things, I'm gonna address that, whether it's with the dog or the person, right? But I'm not gonna let it slide. Even if the person did something stupid, I'm not gonna let it slide.

Because if you do, then it sends the message to your dog that it's okay to do it, right? And so then you're going backwards. So I'm gonna correct my dog, but then if the person violated my boundaries, that's gonna be a discussion too.

'Cause that's not okay. That's not okay. But we already know if your dog makes those poor choices, that those are the things that just come naturally to him. And so you, you have to do the work, guys. You have to all day long be wiring your dog to do things that don't come naturally and not do things that do come naturally. And if you're not having any of those conversations all day long, if you're not keeping your boundaries clear and set in stone, and it shouldn't be terribly hard work. So people wanna act like, like it's hard work to be consistent.

It's like, no, it's only hard work to be consistent if you aren't correcting meaningfully enough, right? Because if you are too low with your intensity of your corrections, then your dog is going to keep breaking those rules and yeah, you're gonna be, have to be consistent every day for the next 10 years. And that sucks. And I don't want that for you, right? But if you're willing to turn up the heat and draw the line in the sand with your dog and say, hey, this is a boundary, don't cross it. He's not gonna cross it anymore, right?

And it's just gonna be maybe the occasional touch-up here and there. Um, but for the most part, that boundary is gonna be respected, right? And you just have to be ready to have that conversation again, should your dog decide down the road that they're gonna give it a try.

Um, and if you do that right and you keep those boundaries really clear and really consistent and your consequences are meaningful, now you're, now you're talking, right? Now you're cooking with gas because now you've got a dog who knows all day long, like, I have to be the best version of myself. There are rules here, there are standards here. I have to keep my behavior in check. And guess what? If you live that way with your dog, then you are way less likely to see that other crap from them in the first place. And like I said, this particular dog, I never saw it.

I never saw it, guys. And so that's not me picking on his owners at all. Um, and actually it looks like they're doing fantastic. Um, you know, especially from the obedience aspect. But that's the thing. And people aren't dog trainers, right?

And that's why they come to me, um, is because we're dog trainers, <laugh>. So people are really good at the obedience aspect because it's more tangible, right? We can see the dog's doing a behavior or not doing a behavior, and then we have a set idea. We have like the decision tree in our head of how we're supposed to respond to that. Um, like good or no or correction, right? But when it comes to behavioral stuff, it's a lot more go inside people's heads and they're not sure and there's a lot of uncertainty. Um, but that's why we're here.

And so I'm here to tell you, having standards all day and actually enforcing them, right? They can't just be standards in your head. You have to actually en- enforce them in a way that matters to the dog. If you do that, you get a better version of your dog, okay?

But it's not magic. Your dog isn't just going to magically change overnight. So here's an an example. I have little Finn here right now. Remember little Finn, if you follow me. Finn is this tiny little dog, um, Cavapoo maybe. Um, he's a poodle mix. Ha, can't remember, <laugh>, some kind of little breed, little tiny breed mixed with a poodle. I mean, this dog was like four pounds when he was here last. He looks a little bigger than that now. Maybe six pounds, maybe <laugh>. He's tiny. But he was a biter. His owner described him as like a little gremlin.

33:00 — An owner reports that a previously biting dog no longer bites during handling, though…

Um, you know, and if we adjusted his collars or anything, he would bite. He'd bit the vet, very, very mouthy. Um, he didn't do it anymore. His owner actually said, because Joyce was adjusting his collar when he came in for boarding last night. And I was like, just be mindful. He gets defensive. Um, or could potentially get defensive. Um, 'cause he's kind of sensitive and you know, if, if you do something that makes him a little uncomfortable, he, he goes right to bite. And his one of his owners looked up and said, oh, he doesn't bite.

And of course I corrected her because all dogs bite. I know people love it when I do that <laugh>, but it's true, right? And so I'll never miss an opportunity to say that.

Um, 'cause that is how we should view dogs, right? And I think we would have a much safer, um, things would just be safer and better and we would have far fewer incidents if everybody viewed dogs that way. So I, I said, all dogs bite, but of course I said that because I have to. Um, but the truth is I was so happy to hear her say that because they did it, right? They worked through that and they convinced him that behavior's not gonna be tolerated. But also there's just standards and there's rules all day.

Um, and so he's now kind of wired to be on his best behavior.

But if they didn't do that and they didn't have those standards or they weren't enforced, right? Standards aren't standards if they're just in your head. If you're nagging your dog with quote-unquote corrections that are super low or just annoying, that doesn't count. That doesn't count. You have to really enforce your rules and boundaries. Uh, and if they didn't do that, then he would still be doing that behavior. He would still be doing that bratty biting, right? If he doesn't like something, he goes right to bite. And it's not that he woke up bloodthirsty, right?

Most dogs don't. He was a pretty sweet, lovable, fun-loving guy, right? But you do something he doesn't like or something that makes him a little unsure and it's right to bite. But he's not doing that anymore.

He's not doing that anymore because he knows there's rules and boundaries and they're enforced. And then once you get a dog that's making a different choice, you get a chance to start normalizing and cementing something different. And that's where, like, the real magic happens, right? And your dog starts to become comfortable with things they weren't comfortable with before. But everybody wants that now, right? And they don't wanna do the work, which is you have to set the boundaries for people and you have to spend time wiring your dog to be more respectful. And you can't have people violating your boundaries while you're doing, okay?

36:00 — Kati cautions that training outcomes vary and owners should not expect every reactive dog…

And we do have lots of dogs, um, that exhibited some untoward behavior toward people that are now very social butterflies. And I don't expect that. I don't expect that. And you shouldn't either, right? But the fact is, you don't know. You don't know what's gonna come out of it. You don't know how far you're gonna get. You don't know if your dog's attitude and what they like and dislike is gonna change. You don't know. And it doesn't matter right now. Right now you need to create the safest dog possible.

And then we'll see, we'll see. So I've had dogs in here that wanna kill everyone in their sight that are now social butterflies, right? Um, and we have some dogs that just the best we can do is teach 'em to mind their business. And you set boundaries. You don't touch my dog. With some dogs, that's as far as we get. And that's fine. That's workable, right? Depends on, uh, but you know what boundaries you set for other folks is gonna depend on, uh, your dog, right? It's gonna depend on your dog. But again, I just wanna reiterate, your dog isn't there for other people. Don't feel obligated, like other people have to be able to touch your dog.

No, they don't. That's for you. That's not for the dog, that's for you. So, but that's it, guys. Wire your dogs to be respectful in general. If you start letting the little things slide all day, again, you're teaching your dog, hey, follow your impulses, you're autonomous, right? Don't resist impulses. Don't take your cues from me. Take them from the environment. Do the things that come naturally. So if you, if that's what you're telling your dog all day, then that's what they're gonna do.

So you have to put the time in and the effort in to teach your dog. We don't follow all of our impulses. We don't do what comes naturally. We don't respond to the environment, right? You respond to me.

And if they do exhibit untoward behavior toward other people, don't miss that moment. Ah, don't miss that moment. <laugh>. Have that conversation with your dog, guys. And then the next time when they make a better decision, you can praise, but don't have a party. Because if you get your dog all excited, they're probably gonna go backwards. Um, and don't put, don't put people in a position that's dangerous, of course. So I'm not saying, you know, have people come up and stick their hand in your dog's face. Don't do that. And the truth is, usually dogs start exhibiting these behaviors before that point, right?

39:00 — Staring, stiffening, lip lifting, and growling can precede a snap and should not be…

So if someone came up to pet your dog and your dog snapped at them, chances are they were exhibiting things you could have corrected before that point. Chances are somebody just walked up or into the room or whatever and your dog probably started staring, probably started stiffening. And then the next step might be like a lip lift, right? A little bit of a snarl. Then you might hear a, an audible growl. So there's usually a process that's happening, right? And we just miss it until the actual snap. But if you can have a conversation with your dog for staring, for stiffening, for growling, then you can prevent your dog from ever going down that road, right?

So boundaries for the people and real rules and consequences for your dog, but not just in those moments, all day long.

But keep everybody safe. Do not allow people to touch your dog if there is any chance. There's always a chance. If there's an unreasonable chance, right? There's a history, there's a likelihood them getting a bite. You can't do that. Your responsibility to advocate for your dog and for those around you. Um, but rules and boundaries because people do stupid stuff. And at the end of the day, don't feel guilty about it. Your dog is there for you, not for everybody else, guys. Just because your dog isn't social doesn't mean that they should be locked up at home, not able to come with you, not able to go places, not able to be in the room.

It's not your fault that everybody feels like they should be able to touch your dog. That's just the culture we live in. Um, and they're wrong. So unfortunately you have to find it within yourself to tell them that and set that boundary. And if they don't wanna respect that boundary, then I guess they're choosing not to be around you when you have your dog, right? They're choosing not to be able to be a guest in your home or accompany you out on trips when you have your dog. Um, because that's just a really disrespectful person.

I say, guys, stay safe. And why are your dog to be the best version of themselves? Hey, guys, thanks for joining us today. I really hope you enjoyed the show. If there's a specific topic you'd like to hear discussed, you can send that to me directly via email or fan mail. Just jump down into the show notes. That information will be there for you. I really look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for supporting the show, and I look forward to next time.