What’s the Priority—The Warm Fuzzies, Or Rehabbing The Dog?

00:00 — Kati Peppe introduces Diamond K9 Dog Training in Biddeford, Maine, specializing in e-collar training…

Welcome to Off Leash and Unfiltered. Trigger warning. I'm Kati Peppe, delivering the truth in dog training.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Off Leash and Unfiltered. I am Kati Peppe, owner of Diamond K9 Dog Training in Biddeford, Maine, and we specialize in e-collar training for things like reliable off-leash obedience and also behavior modifications. So dealing with reactivity, aggression, anxiety, separation issues, all that good stuff. Uh, and we also do puppy training. So that's who we are and what we do. And this podcast is here to help you, um, get your hands on accurate information because it's just super hard to find. The internet's full of lies and just a bunch of crap and baloney and, uh, it's really frustrating.

So we're here to, um, talk about the stuff that we are talking about every single day with our hands-on clients, uh, with our board-and-train clients, our private session clients. This is the stuff that we hear coming from them. This is the stuff that they need help with. So it's probably the stuff a lot of you need help with. So, so that's what we're here to do. That's what we talk about here, and we're very, very honest. We don't hold back. Uh, we just kind of say it how it is. I kind of say it how it is, um, and so hopefully, you know, not everyone's gonna like me, and that's fine, but hopefully it's helpful <laugh>.

Okay. And today, um, let's talk about one of the most challenging things in dog training. Um, at least from the trainer's perspective, it might not be the most challenging thing from other people's perspective, but it actually is their biggest challenge. Whether they admit that or not. Uh, at least for the people that struggle with this, it is, and that's because it, it impacts the results so much. And what I'm talking about is the human's willingness and ability to follow the protocols. So a lot of times in dog training, this is particularly geared toward people that have really challenging dogs.

And by really challenging, I don't mean, oh, they're stubborn or they have a high prey drive. I mean, dogs that are really exhibiting very problematic or dangerous behavioral issues. So aggressive dogs, dogs that are getting away and attacking other dogs, um, biting people, you know, giving, making people need stitches, uh, biting their own family. Um, resource guarding severely, uh, being super territorial, uh, severe separation issues, all, you know, stuff that's really, really problematic. The biggest hurdle with those cases is always the human, always. And I've got some real-life examples we'll talk about, but I don't know, I don't know if this episode is more for, for you guys or if it's just more for me, <laugh>.

It's kind of just kind of a way for me

To vent in a sense, um, because this is by far the hardest part of my job because you want everybody to succeed. But in reality, I mean, we all know that it's just not possible. Uh, and we do have a high success rate and we have clients that just do absolutely amazing. I mean, we have the most awesome clients, but they're still human and we still get some, uh, that really, really struggle with this. And even if they know logically and rationally in their brain, um, that what we're saying is true in this, and we're, we're giving them the right information and they should do it.

04:00 — Kati describes a dog attack stopped by human intervention, during which the intervening person…

They just cannot bring themselves to do it. Uh, and so they fail and it's super, super hard to watch. It's so painful, uh, and sad. And so it needs to be talked about. We have a case right now of a dog attacked another dog, got away from his owner, attacked another dog, and his intent was to kill the dog. And now when I say intent, take that with a grain of salt, right? 'Cause dogs don't plan. Um, but that's what he does. He, he goes after the dog and he'll kill it. And that's, that's what was going to happen there.

The only reason that didn't happen was human intervention and the human got really hurt in the process. Uh, and I've seen this dog in action here when we work him around other dogs and he wants to kill them, <laugh>. Uh, and honestly, by and large, he's been very, very responsive to the training. He's formed some very strong inhibitions,

Uh, and can walk by other dogs with no trouble. Doesn't try to get away, doesn't lunge, but it's still there. It's still in there. And so when the day comes where we're discussing this dog's fate, we have to think about that. And we have to think about the big picture. And his owner has, has really tried, and I'll, I'll give her that. Like she's really, really tried to stick to the, the plan and, and do the protocols. Um, but she's failed in some ways because emotionally she needs to have this dog be her emotional support.

And it's hard to watch because you can tell people, this is a dog that cannot do that right now. And my guess is he probably can't do that ever. Not with her, maybe with someone else, not with her. Um, the history is there, the relationship is there. It's been there for years at this point where the only thing this dog knows is his owner being a soft bundle of marshmallows. And so it's gonna be hard for her to undo that. And unfortunately, this is a dog that if he gets an inch, he'll take a mile and it could cost a dog their life.

And so when you have a dog like that, you're going to have to accept the the cold, hard truth, you know, because a lot of the stuff we do, we say it's for now, it's for now, it's for now. And most of the time it is just for now, right? You're gonna have some of this stuff forever. You're always going to have rules, hopefully, and you're always going to enforce them, hopefully. And you're always going to have some level of structure in your home in order, hopefully, right? But you don't necessarily have to run your home like a high-security prison.

08:00 — Leashes, muzzles, and bed restrictions may be temporary, but Kati says some dogs require…

You don't necessarily always have to have your dog on your, on a leash or in a muzzle. You don't necessarily always have to keep your dog outta your bed. Sometimes these things are just while you're cultivating better behavior and patterning something different and getting your dog into a different head space. But for some dogs, especially in certain homes, it's forever.

And it doesn't matter, guys, because it's not up to us. I'm not the one that decides this. I'm just the one that tells you what I see. It's not up to me. It's not my dog, dog, it's not my house. I don't control the dog's behavior per se, through some kind of magic. I like, I, I'm not saying like, you do this or you'll be punished with bad results. I'm just telling you what I know historically to be true with dogs that fit into similar behavior patterns as yours, uh, with people that have similar behavior patterns to yours.

So over time with experience, the patterns become more obvious to you. And that's kind of what you're paying me for when you're here. You're not paying me for the one-hour session that we have together that day. You're paying me for the years and years and the hundreds and thousands of hours of hands-on work with dogs and people and learning the nuances and seeing how they respond and knowing what will happen and knowing how to avoid the pitfalls. That's what you're paying me for. And so all I can do is tell people what I know to be true.

And then they're on their own, on their own, meaning I can't be at their house to hold their hand and make sure they do what they're supposed to be doing. I do everything in my power to support them.

Uh, once you're, once you are on my schedule and you are officially a client, I'm always here to support my clients. They text me, they ask me questions, they email me. We offer a free group class. I often provide written notes if people need notes that cover everything we covered in our sessions, but at the end of the day, they need to go home and do it. And I can't be there to make that happen. So if somebody says, "God, it's been a really hard day. I wanna snuggle with my dog," or "I just wanna see my dog have fun, so I'm gonna bend all the rules because it makes me feel good."

I can't be there to stop them from doing that, and I can't fix it. I can't, when they come in for the next class, there's nothing I can do to fix that. They've done that. The damage is done. There is no getting that back. Yeah, you can get back on the saddle, back in the saddle, and you can start making better choices, but unless you stick to it and keep it going, it's not gonna matter. It's not gonna matter. And so the other day I did a consultation for a dog. German Shepherd was recently adopted, several years old, we think.

12:00 — A recently adopted German Shepherd lunges at the husband and guards the wife and…

And the dog's very attached already to the female owner, but her husband can't go near the dog. Okay? So let that sink in for a minute. Her husband can't go near the dog. The dog will lunge at him. The dog runs away from him. He gets too close. The dog will at him. The dog guards the bed, guards the wife from him. So he has to live this way in his own house. Um, so when I sign someone like that up, and I know they have serious issues they need to resolve, um, that are dangerous, these are dangerous behaviors.

The dog's uncomfortable. The people are uncomfortable in their own home, which is fricking awful. That's just no way to live for either of them.

Uh, and someone's gonna get hurt is what's gonna happen. But I, I get very concerned when I talk to someone like that and their concerns are, "Well, I like to let my dog sniff on the walk." Okay, well, I would like your husband to be comfortable in his own house. Is that a priority? Which one's a higher priority? You have some decisions to make if you have a dog with behavioral issues. I also get concerned when we talk too much about how we rescued the dog, quote unquote, because nobody rescues dogs, okay? They, they are purchased.

You purchased an aggressive dog, and now you have to deal with the aftermath of that, which they are. So this isn't me picking on the human here, but you know, if people are going to be successful, the fact is we have to be straight shooters. We have to be direct and honest.

And we tell people things all the time that they do not want to hear. And in the end, most of them appreciate it. Some of them walk out and never come back. <laugh>, we never hear from them again. And that's okay. That's a price I'm willing to pay. Um, most of them are like, "God, I, I really just didn't have my head screwed on right. And I can't believe how different my perspective is now that I know these things and I've been practicing them and I see the results," and that's what we hope for, you know, but it doesn't happen with everybody.

15:00 — Kati criticizes owners who prioritize feeling like rescuers over addressing a dog's fear and…

Uh, and that's just a fact of life that just comes with the territory. But you have decisions to make. If you have a dog with behavioral issues, you cannot feed your own ego constantly and your own soul with, "I rescued this dog and I wanna plaster everywhere that I rescued, rescued, rescued because it makes me some kind of a saint."

And I want a baby and coddle the dog because I rescued it. And I wanna be its savior by bubble wrapping it and snuggling it and cuddling it and letting it have fun all day. And meanwhile, the dog's terrified out of its mind, by the way. Obviously terrified out of its mind and threatening its own family that lives in the home, nevermind a stranger, right? So if you're more concerned about how you look, how you feel, then actually helping the dog get better and restoring order to your home so everybody can live in harmony, in peace, then I can't help you.

I can't help those people. And that's why I tend to be so hard on them. So sometimes people look at me with a slack jaw because they think what I'm saying is, you know, maybe rude or mean, um, or just plain unbelievable <laugh>. But it's the only way. And I know that. So some trainers take the route where they try to kind of sugarcoat things and it doesn't hurt your dog. And this is really what's best for them. And we gotta help them be more comfortable. And it's not that any of that stuff is wrong, but it is sugarcoating.

And the fact is, if the human doesn't get used to having to do things that are uncomfortable, then they just fail.

They just fail. So if you take the approach where I'm gonna make the human like doing this stuff and feel okay about doing this stuff, it's not gonna work because there's always gonna be something they have to do that they don't like. Like you can't make them like everything. It's just like the dogs. It's the same thing. Behaviors, behaviors, behavior. I always say that. And some people say, oh, it's just like kids. And it's like, no, it's just like you and me. It's just like, is like all of us, like everybody, we learn. So I can teach a dog to tolerate nail clipping.

I can't make them love it.

It's the same thing with the human and the dog training. You are not going to make people like doing this stuff or love doing it. That might happen naturally over time. But I don't take that approach where I try to convince them that they're not making their dog uncomfortable, you know? Or that their dog desperately wants rules. It's like, no, their dog doesn't want rules. Their dog wants to do whatever it wants, but rules are going to help them in the long run and they need to be enforced. And yes, the way we enforce them is we provide consequences that are uncomfortable.

Does it hurt the dog? Yes, it hurts the dog. That's why it works. Jesus. I'll say it. It doesn't harm the dog. So I always make that clarification. We don't do anything that harms a dog.

19:00 — Kati advocates frequent uncomfortable e-collar corrections early in training for dogs with serious behavioral…

Is it physically uncomfortable to receive a correction from an e-collar at a higher level? Yes, it is. That's why it works. <laugh>. Okay? And if you have a dog with serious behavioral issues, you bet your sweet ass, you're gonna be using those uncomfortable corrections. You're gonna be using them a lot upfront of your program, okay? It is punishment-heavy in the beginning because your dog has a lot of stuff they need to stop doing. And you need to get that dog's behavior, including their obedience, to be reliable, even around distractions. And even without a leash on, you need to have control of your dog's behavior and state of mind.

Now, once you start to lay that foundation, things change dramatically, right? So you're not constantly lighting your dog up. Because if you do this stuff correctly, it mostly goes away, right? And then it's just a periodic touch-up here and there. If your dog pushes a boundary or try something new that you don't like, right? But most dogs, once you tell them this is a boundary, you can't do that and you enforce it properly, they stop it, okay? And now you've got something you can work with. Now you can teach some better stuff. Now you can reward stuff.

That's where everybody wants to go. And I don't blame them, you know? But I don't have a lot of patience for, well, do we have to walk in a heel? You know, if your own dog is attacking your own family, your own dog is so uncomfortable in its own skin that its own family members can't go near it.

Or your dog's so uncomfortable in its own skin, it can't be alone for five minutes. Or your dog can't walk down the street without trying to kill another dog. Like I don't have a lot of tolerance for people prioritizing their own feelings and their own warm fuzzies over helping their dog get better and get into a better state of mind. I don't have a problem with a dog sniffing around. I don't, I don't have a problem with that. But I have a big problem with people not being able to require a heel on their walk because it doesn't make 'em feel good enough when they have a dog that desperately, desperately needs rules, boundaries, consequences, a clear path to walk, fewer questions, fewer decisions to make so we can finally fucking relax.

I have a big problem with that, and I know people don't really understand that's how it works. But we talk about that, we talk about that. And then you either subscribe or you don't. And I'm not here to convince you.

I'm here to provide the information for people who desperately want it and are ready for it. They're ready to receive it. Anybody that doesn't wanna do this stuff, they don't have to. They don't have to. I'm not going out door to door, you know, I'm not knocking on doors telling people they have to sign up for my program. They called me. And if you call me, this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna take away your dog's agency and autonomy for now, and how much of that you can give back, we'll see, we'll see. It depends on the dog and it also depends on their environment.

23:00 — Kati explains that a dog's eventual freedom depends on its behavior, household environment, and…

So some dogs might be totally fine to have almost complete autonomy at some point and just be roaming around the house, doing whatever they want, might be able to trust them off leash. But then you put that same dog in a different household and you might not be able to do that 'cause you get, get something different. 'Cause everything is a mix, right? The dog is a mix of genetics and learning

that results in behavior. But then you also have the mix of the dog with the environment and the humans, whatever the humans are doing, what kind of energy they're giving off, and what kind of interactions they're having with the dog. And what sorts of, uh, neural pathways in the brain are they nurturing? You just get different stuff sometimes, right? So there is no one-size-fits-all. But what I can tell you is the more serious your behavioral issues are with your dog, the more seriously you need to take doing the structure and the rules, boundaries and consequences, and not bending those rules for your own benefit.

And I know it's hard, and I know that's not why anybody gets a dog,

right? But if you want your dog to get better, you gotta do the hard work. Since nowadays, everybody wants everything for free. And this is no exception. You can't love your dog out of their bullshit. That would be great. I'd be out of the job, you know, that'd be okay. I'd find something else to do. I wish that was the case, but it isn't. You need to build something different and better with your dog and see what you get and see what you can allow once you get to that point. But you got hard decisions to make and nobody wants your aggressive dog.

So this whole rehoming business is just garbage too. Like if you have a dog that just has a problem with another dog in your house and they have a grudge against each other, maybe rehoming is fine, but you get a dog that wants to kill other dogs, no, you can't just rehome that dog. Nobody wants it. And it doesn't bode well for dogs that are doing that kind of damage or have the potential to do that kind of damage. So you have to have your priorities straight. You have to be willing to make those hard decisions and prioritize, "Hey, I need to get this dog better."

26:00 — Kati urges owners to prioritize rehabilitation over immediate gratification, emphasizing progress toward comfort and…

I need to put what I want on the back burner,

maybe for now, maybe forever. So the dog you have is the dog you have. You can't change who they are. You have to control the controllable. And it's not easy. That's the hard work. But if you're gonna commit to it, commit to it and it's worth it, right? It might be gratifying in the moment to let your dog sniff on the walk. It might be gratifying in the moment to cuddle in bed, but ultimately, you know, deep down the inside that you're losing ground and that it's your fault. And I'll tell you, there's nothing more gratifying than seeing a dog that was terrified of everything become comfortable in its own.

Or seeing a dog that would lunge and sometimes get away from you and try to kill other dogs just sail right by another dog. Like nothing. That's something to feel good about. You gotta do the work. All right, guys, that's it for today's episode. Thanks for joining me, and I look forward to the next one.