Why Is My Dog So Anxious

00:00 — Kati introduces Off Leash and Unfiltered and Diamond Canine Dog Training’s focus on obedience…

Speaker 1: Welcome to Off Leash and Unfiltered Trigger Warning. I'm Kati Peppe, delivering the Truth in Dog Training.

Speaker 1: Hey everybody. Welcome back to another episode of Off Leash and Unfiltered. I'm Kati Peppe, owner of Diamond Canine Dog Training in Biddeford, Maine. We specialize in eco training for off-leash obedience as well as behavior modification, uh, simple stuff, uh, like jumping on people barking, getting into the trash, digging holes, all that stuff our dogs do, um, as well as more severe stuff. So separation anxiety, reactivity, aggression, guarding things, uh, all that sort of stuff. We do all that, uh, really, really big on state of mind work and really focusing on the whole state of mind of the dog.

Speaker 1: Um, it's really, really good stuff. Uh, and we do puppy training as well. So that's who we are and what we do. And this podcast is brought to you as our way of just sharing everything we think and see and experience and talk about day in and day out with our customers.

Speaker 1: Um, this is here for us to share all of that stuff with you. So today, and forgive me, I, I don't know what this is gonna sound like, I'm recording from home today, which is a bit unusual. Uh, I'm sure everybody listening to this thought I had like a huge team <laugh> working on this podcast of like 50 people writing a really professional recording studio and, and everything. But, um, not, not the case. I'm actually just a really angry middle aged woman, um, sitting in her kitchen, drinking a rum and coke at two in the afternoon talking to herself, <laugh>.

Speaker 1: So thinking maybe if I record it and put it on the internet, somebody will listen to it. Um, <laugh>. But anyway, uh, anxiety, guys, anxiety. So, uh, most of us have at least a little bit of that, right? It's pretty normal. Um, some of us have a lot of that, and, um, a lot of our dogs have a lot of that <laugh>.

Speaker 1: So I thought this was a great topic to delve into because right now for board and train, I mean, we just have a house full of anxious dogs. So, um, honestly, it'd be somewhat cathartic for me to be able to, to talk about it a little bit because when you're surrounded by it all the time, it can be a little draining sometimes. 'cause you get to pay attention to everything all the time, every little moment, which I mean, I guess my job in general, right? Training in general and having the dogs come home with you and just be there all the time, you really have to be on all the time.

Speaker 1: But there's something special about a, a dog that's really anxious, like, it, it really takes, it takes extra strength and a lot of you have those dogs, so, uh, maybe you can get something from this that you didn't have before.

Speaker 1: Um, that's the hope anyway. So, I mean, when we're talking about anxiety, what does that even mean? Like, what, what does that mean? So there's like different types of anxiety, right? And we could try to break it down like textbook style and categorize it. I don't really think that's necessary, although I will just separate them in the sense that sometimes we have dogs that are, we only seemingly quote unquote anxious. Um, you know, and I say quote unquote because really largely it's an opinion, right? There's no like test to see if your dog is, is anxious.

04:00 — Anxiety has no definitive test, but discomfort that disrupts normal situations can reveal an…

Speaker 1: There's no like, definitive diagnosis, but you kind of have a good sense based on what you see that your dog's really uncomfortable in situations where they shouldn't be. And, and to me that's anxious. So we have dogs that are only anxious, um, in very specific contexts, right? So there's that, like sometimes you have a dog that's just anxious when there's strangers around, or a dog that's just anxious when they're alone, right? Separation anxiety. Um, and sometimes we have dogs that are just kind of anxious all the time. And I think a lot of what we're gonna talk about today really can be applied to any of them.

Speaker 1: Um, but I think the more general it is, the more your dog tends to exhibit that stuff across the board in a variety of contexts and the more important this stuff is.

Speaker 1: Um, so, but what is it? Like, what is anxiety? And like, and like I just said, I, I feel like in my mind, the way I think of it is just discomfort in situations where the typical dog wouldn't have discomfort, right? So it kind of impedes their functionality or their sociability, right? Because situations that they need to be able to be in, uh, become difficult because they're uncomfortable. Uh, and sometimes that's not even that obvious to people, but that's kind of the way that I, I think of anxiety. And then if you wanna go a level deeper, it's like, well, what makes that the case?

Speaker 1: Like, what's happening that is this anxiety?

Speaker 1: And I feel like, well, you know what? We'll get into that in a minute. Um, let's talk about what it looks like. So how do you know, right? How do you, like, what makes someone say, oh, I have an anxious dog. Well, sometimes it's super obvious, right? Because they'll start whining, pacing, barking. For instance, you have a dog that doesn't like to be in the kennel, they start going crazy, right? Scratching at the floor, barking, whining, crying, uh, maybe biting at the bars, trying to push their way out. So it can be a broad spectrum of things really, but it's very clear to you that they're not comfortable, right?

Speaker 1: Um, sometimes it's a little more subtle than that. It might just be a little whining. It might be pacing, it might be constant sniffing. It might be self-mutilation, nibbling on their paws, their tail. Um, it might be staring and being jumpy. It might be growling at things. It might be, right? So there's all kinds of symptoms that you can notice. Now, a lot of those things I just mentioned are pretty normal. If they're not happening to an extent, um, that interferes with daily life, right? If they're not happening super regularly in situations, that should just be normal.

Speaker 1: Um, so having a dog that kind of lets out a little growl every once in a blue moon because they see someone that looks scary, might not be anything, might not be a big deal. Um, but if you have a dog that's always growling at strangers or growls, everybody that has a hat, then you've got a problem, right? Um, same thing if you have a dog that just whines a tiny bit every once in a while. Like, oh, they're excited for this thing so they whine a little bit. Uh, it might not be a big deal, but if you have a dog that's whining intensely in that scenario every time, or whining all day long, or whining every time they're a little excited, that's gonna get pretty irritating.

Speaker 1: And they're obviously not comfortable either. Um, so to me that's kind of what establishes whether or not I would actually label a dog anxiety, um, ridden <laugh> anxious. Um, so, and I'm not a huge fan of labels, especially when they're really like human type labels. Um, it's really hard to translate these human terms to dogs. Um, but that's kind of a nice segue to the next piece, which is where does it come from? And

09:00 — Kati explains that anxiety often comes from too many unanswered questions and uncertainty.

Speaker 1: I think the one thing that it really does have in common with humans, if you really think about it, what it actually boils down to in probably almost every case across the board is question marks. There's just too many question marks. There's too much uncertainty. That's what anxiety is for us and for our dogs. So it's the same in that sense. I think what differs is what uncertainty actually looks like and what certainty looks like, um, between humans and dogs is gonna be a little bit different because obviously we have cognitive abilities that our dogs don't, right?

Speaker 1: So we actually have the ability to think, oh my God, what if this, what if that? And play through these nightmare scenarios. Dogs don't do that. They don't do that. It's much more basic than that. Um, right? So because dogs don't really have the ability to think ahead, to plan to see around corners, most of the time the behavior you're seeing is a very basic production of the nervous system. So it's like there's things happening in the brain that are triggering things, and that's what you're seeing. Um, they don't have all the emotions or like, what is that guy gonna do to me?

Speaker 1: He looks shady. Like they don't have that.

Speaker 1: Um, but so question marks. And so some dogs cannot handle those question marks. Some dogs can, and it just doesn't matter to them. They're fine, but a lot of dogs can't. And what we see is the more question marks they have surrounding them, the more they just kind of fall apart, right? So it's almost like

Speaker 2: A

Speaker 1: Pouring water into a very, um, flexible vessel that has no real shape or integrity to it, right? It's like it just kind of gels out all over the place. And that's kind of what I think of these dogs as being and feeling like it's like there just is no real clear, uh, form to take, right? So they just kind of ooze all over the place. <laugh>, I know this analogy's getting weirder. Um, let me think. How else could I put it? I don't know. I mean, it's not a terrible analogy. So you have a picture of water and you pour some of it into a glass and you pour some of it into a sandwich baggie, right?

Speaker 1: And so one has a very well-defined structure and there's no real question marks. You pour it into a baggie and it just kind of goes wherever, right? So it depends if it's on a flat surface or if it isn't, and if it's level or if it's tilted, um, it might even just spill out <laugh>. So, um, the more defined the vessel, the fewer question marks there are.

13:00 — Kati argues that anxious dogs need rules, boundaries, and structure rather than extra affection.

Speaker 1: And we can provide our dogs with that definition. And this is the part that doesn't come real naturally to people. It's very counterintuitive, is to be, you know, when I say your anxious dog needs more rules, more boundaries, more consequences, people go, huh? And it's just not in our nature. It's in our nature to pet, to soothe, to touch, to reassure. And those things are detrimental to your dog's wellbeing. Not always. I'm not gonna tell you if you pet your dog and tell him it's okay that you're gonna ruin your dog. But if you have a truly anxious dog that cannot serve him well or her well, it simply can't.

Speaker 1: And it often serves to continue nurturing the anxiety and making things much worse. Um, here's the thing.

Speaker 1: You take two anxious dogs, and we see this a lot, especially with shepherds. We see this kind of anxiety and we see a lot of like going in circles and whining and pacing and sniffing and self-mutilation. And uh, I mean, you can see it with any dog, but uh, I have a shepherd here right now who's pretty anxious. And uh, I definitely see it at a higher rate with them. And I mean, these are dogs that were supposed to originally be bred to, to do real work, hard work. And um, and we don't do that anymore.

Speaker 1: You know, our dogs are just couch potatoes or we go and we do the, you know, we do the agility, which is fine. I don't have anything against agility, but it's like we do the soft, fluffy stuff and this energetic stuff, but we don't provide them with any real work. We don't provide them with any real rules or boundaries. And if you can do that, if you can take a dog and you can say, okay, we're gonna stop this craziness today. We're going to clean up all these question marks for you. What it would look like is you're gonna be in your kennel.

Speaker 1: You're gonna be calm and quiet when you're in your kennel. There's a consequence. If you're not,

Speaker 1: Then when you come out, we're gonna do whatever. Um, but it's gonna be my decision. And probably for a little while, I'm not gonna just turn you loose in the house or in the yard. Maybe we're gonna go for a walk. If we go for a walk, we're gonna walk in a heel, right? So you need to walk at my left leg. You're not gonna be sniffing the ground, you're not gonna be staring at anything in the environment. Um, so those are rules and they have to focus on healing, right? And by the way, when your dog is focused on healing, they can't focus on all the stuff that makes them uncomfortable.

Speaker 1: 'cause they don't have the brain space for that. So now you're starting to change the brain because now you're forcing, ooh, dirty word, forcing the brain to do something else besides wallow in anxiety. Let's do this instead. Rules, boundaries, consequences. Walking a heel, okay? Then we come back. Maybe I'm gonna put you on place. You're gonna be on place for an hour or two or whatever. You have to stay on place quietly and calmly until I let you off.

17:00 — Commands such as heel and place require consequences, because rules without enforcement do not…

Speaker 1: There is a consequence if you don't do that. 'cause here's the thing, guys, if you do all of this stuff and there's no consequences, none of it matters. None of it matters because number one, it'll never really look that good because it doesn't have to, because it's optional. And if it's optional, you still have all kinds of question marks, right? 'cause it's up to the dog. It's up to the dog, it's up to the dog. It can't be up to the dog. If it's up to the dog, you will never solve your problems. It can't be up to the dog.

Speaker 1: Leaving it up to the dog is what's supporting the anxiety. I'm not gonna say it created it, but it certainly didn't help. And it's allowing it to continue to fester, right? Then maybe I'm gonna take you off there. We're gonna go throw the ball around, whatever. That stuff's fine, right? But I'm not gonna let you just walk around the house, go, who's out here? I'm gonna look out the window. I'm gonna go lay over here and I'm nibble on my paws. I'm gonna go chase my tail. I'm gonna pace back and forth wondering where dad is.

Speaker 1: I'm gonna bark at the door. I'm gonna, no,

Speaker 1: We're not doing circles. We're not pacing back and forth. We're not whining, we're not barking. We're not looking out the window to see who's going by. No, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

Speaker 1: You don't have to worry about that. You have to worry about what I tell you to do. So to some people, that just sounds so mean. It is the kindest thing you can do for your dog. It is a gift. And yeah, at first there might be some times and some days and some moments where your dog is like, well, holy shit, that sucked. Oh my God, I don't like this. What is this? The sky is falling, but that's not gonna last, right? This anxiety that they're in now, that's, that shit's not going away. They're gonna spend every day for the rest of their life until their last breath feeling that way.

Speaker 1: Whereas if you can shift that chronic anxiety to what might be some episodic, short-lived anxiety about consequences, that's so worth it guys, right? Because it doesn't take long, at least if you're consistent and you do everything properly, it doesn't take long for that anxiety to melt away because it is 110% predictable, which means no question marks, you're getting rid of the question marks when we go out on a walk. I expect you to walk here and walk this way and adapt to my pace and not worry about who's behind you, right? So your dog does this a few times, a few dozen times, a few hundred times.

Speaker 1: And guess what? It's old hat.

Speaker 1: We just go out, we walk, my dog walks next to me. They're not worried about anything, question marks. Nope. And yes, there's a consequence if they don't do it, but the dog knows that and they know how to avoid it, right? So it's like you driving off a cliff, right? You're not going to do that. So you're not anxious about that because you're just not gonna do it. Like, you know, that would be awful. You know, it could happen, but you're not gonna do that. Your dog has that ability, right? If you do it properly, they, the consequences are connected to their behavior and they are so consistent and reliable and predictable that it's a huge relief to go,

Speaker 2: Ah,

Speaker 1: And exhale. All I have to do is this. And nothing bad happens. And hey, I'm no longer worrying about all this other crap. Like, I now have a place to put my energy, my focus, my drive, especially if I'm a working dog. And I know what's gonna happen. I know what to do. I know what to expect. I know what's expected of me. I know everything is going to be fine. I just need to do this. Fantastic. Another analogy that I often use is it's like, imagine that someone takes you and just drops you into this foreign place.

22:00 — Predictable expectations help dogs understand what to do and eliminate uncertainty during daily activities.

Speaker 1: And it's a foreign place. Like you open your eyes and it's a place that seems really scary. Like maybe everyone's running around with firearms and they seem hostile. Um, and you have no idea where you are. That would be rather terrifying, right? There's a lot of dogs that feel that way every single day. The world is like a battle zone. Now imagine you were just on your own with no rule book, no directions. You'd be running around pretty sketched out, wouldn't you? That's what your dog is doing right now, <laugh>. Uh, but now imagine that somebody actually shows up

Speaker 1: And tells you exactly what you have to do. Are you gonna be mad that you have to do it? No. You're gonna be insanely fucking relieved, right? Because now you have instructions how to navigate this, what to do, what to expect. Go here, you'll see this. Do that. Talk to this person. Write a, a clear set of instructions. Obviously that's a lot different than the instructions we give, give our dog, but it's an example that might make sense to you. Um, and an amazing trainer that, that I, uh, follow and have learned a lot from over the years uses the analogy of power tools.

Speaker 1: Um, and I thought that was a great analogy too, right? If you've never used a power tool, it's gonna be probably pretty scary and damn dangerous. <laugh> potentially for you to just start, you know, wielding around power saws and everything else. Um, so you might have a lot of anxiety. Someone's like, Hey, go do this with this tool. And that's it, right? So you're on your own, you got no instruction, you got no, you experience, you don't know what to expect. Everything is, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what I should be doing.

Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 1: Uh, and it feels dangerous. Now, if somebody showed up and smacked you for putting your hand in the wrong place, <laugh>, okay? 'cause you could cut your fingers off. Um, yeah, in the moment you might be a little taken aback. You might be a little shocked, you might be a little upset, but guess what? The next day you're gonna feel a little bit better. 'cause now you know not to put your fingers there and you're gonna feel a little bit more confident, right? And then the other things that you shouldn't be doing that are dangerous.

Speaker 1: And once you have this set of rules,

Speaker 2: This

Speaker 1: Clear path, and you know, I can't do that. I can't do that, I can't do that. Every time you go back and you use this tool and you have this set of rules, you get more and more confident, more and more comfortable. Before you know it, you're a wiz. And that's how it works. That's how you get confident. That's how you get comfortable. You do it and you do it with a set of rules, right? And if you have to learn all those rules yourself, you can do that. We do that sometimes, right? It's like, it just, it takes longer.

Speaker 1: It's harder. And dogs aren't gonna teach themselves <laugh>, okay? Again, 'cause they don't have that cognitive thought process. And you're not gonna, you can't sit your dog down to tee and explain to them that there's no danger. You can't sit them down to tea and explain to them that strangers are fine or that, you know, we like little dogs and they shouldn't try to eat them. Or it just doesn't work that way. Your dog doesn't understand is dog, right? The best way you can help your dog in most situations is to give them clear rules, clear boundaries, clear consequences, and be consistent.

27:00 — Clear rules, boundaries, consequences, and consistency give dogs a defined path toward confidence.

Speaker 2: I,

Speaker 1: Um, and then your dog has just a well lit, clearly defined path to walk. And they get to gain all kinds of confidence. The more they do it, the more confident they get. And that's when we see anxiety start to melt away. Now, if you have anxiety, your dog has anxiety in certain situations, the biggest mistake people make is just going after that one scenario. That one situation in a vacuum. It's usually a mistake. You get to look at the whole big picture. Um, for instance, separation issues, all kinds of affection. It just nurtures that.

Speaker 1: Um, uncertainty, softness, weakness. Your dog needs stability. They need stable firm ground to stand on. They need to know what's expected of them. And they need to know that it's not negotiable even when things are difficult and you walk away, right? Because that's the hardest thing for a dog with separation anxiety. Um, but nurturing that unhealthy codependence is a big problem. And dogs that have separation issues, uh, it's like little Maggie that I have here right now, man. They were having a lot of trouble at home. And she's such a great dog too. She's, she's just spunky and full of enthusiasm.

Speaker 1: And she, she learns really fast. Uh, tons of fun to work with. But their problem was every time they put her in the kennel, she would just lose her shit literally. 'cause she would just go crazy, mental upset, couldn't be away from them, couldn't be confined, uh, and poop all over her kennel,

Speaker 1: Uh, regularly all the time. She hasn't done that once. She's been here two weeks.

Speaker 1: She hasn't done that once. And that's not me blaming her owners. Um, but it just really, really is a, it's a great example of how environment and relationship impacts the dog's state of mind and can change everything, right? So obviously Maggie's a dog that has a proclivity, uh, for that behavior, for that state of mind, right? They didn't make her an anxious dog. She was born an anxious dog. But so then the onus falls on you to provide that dog with what they need. And so in their case, uh, when little Maggie goes home, which isn't just a couple of days, it's gonna be no affection, guys, none, no softness, none.

Speaker 1: They have to build something different if they want to get over this obstacle. And it's gonna be hard. It's gonna be hard, she, but she can do it, right? We know she can do it 'cause she's doing it here. She's thriving, she's doing great. But so there will be no affection, no touching. There will be lots of kennel time, lots of place time, lots of walking in a heel, lots of rules, boundaries, consequences, structure, uh, building something stable and firm and clear for her. And then if she's doing great, eventually they can start to filter in some of that stuff.

31:00 — Maggie’s owners must establish firm structure before gradually reintroducing freedom, affection, and other privileges.

Speaker 1: A little more freedom, a little more touch.

Speaker 1: Um, but it'll be really hard to walk it back if they start there, if not, impossible. So it looks a little different for every dog, but at the end of the day, it's really all the same. Clear rules, clear boundaries, clear expectations. It is the best gift that you can give to an anxious dog. And that's it for today, guys. Thank you for joining me, and I look forward to having you all here next time. Bye.