Are You Sending Your Dog Mixed Messages

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Welcome to Off Leash and Unfiltered Trigger Warning. I'm Kati Peppe, delivering the Truth in Dog Training.

Hey everybody, welcome back to Off Leash and Unfiltered. I am Kati Peppe, owner of Diamond Canine Dog Training in Biddeford, Maine. For those of you who don't know us, um, we do puppy training, but we specialize in eco training, so lots of off-leash, obedient stuff, and uh, also behavior modifications. So helping people deal with things like, um, problem behaviors that are as simple as jumping on people or barking to things like dog reactivity, aggression issues, uh, the whole range of behavioral issues, uh, separation, anxiety, all that stuff. Uh, state of mind work is a big, big part of what we do.

Um, so that's who we are. Today, I want to talk to you about the mixed messages that you are sending to your dog, <laugh>. So it's such a common thing. I see it all the time. Um, even people that are in the training world that know better, uh, sometimes our human nature gets in the way and we just don't even realize that we're doing it, and I'm sure even I'm guilty of it to some extent.

Um, so, but I, you know, I see it a lot with owners, of course. So they'll bring their dog in and, and maybe their number one complaint is that their dog jumps, dog jumps on people, jumps on them, and I'll see the dog do it right there either in our session or, you know, at the drop off or whatever the case may be. The dog will jump on them. And what do they do? They touch the dog <laugh>. So now how in the hell is that ever gonna stop jumping, right? And so I don't do this episode or, or say that, um, to make people feel bad if they're doing these things.

02:00 — Dogs jump on people, and owners often respond reflexively instead of discouraging the behavior.

I just wanna bring it to people's attention because it is so super common, and I know that most of these people are not that stupid. Like when I say it to them, they openly admit that they know that they know that I'm right.

That's not surprising information <laugh>. Um, but they just don't know what to do. And so they just kind of cave to that reflexive human nature. Um, and so I said they touch their dog, which they usually do. Um, and sometimes it's a push, like in their defense, they're trying to like, push the dog off them, but here's the thing, they're using soft, gentle hands. And that gentle pressure from your hands really encourages the dog to push harder against your hands. <laugh>. So it's kind of counterproductive, right? So someone came up to you right now and put their hand on your chest and sort of pushed you to the back.

What are you gonna do? You're gonna push forward, right? So I use that example a lot when we're talking about leash pulling. And this is the same idea. You try to push the dog off you, they push harder toward you, um, and your hands are what we use to give affection to the dog.

So, and that gentle push really feels more like a caress. And so really from the dog's perspective, it's just affection or play maybe for some dogs. Um, but it's certainly not a correction. It certainly isn't discouragement. So, you know, and a lot of people will say no. They'll say, no, no, no, off off, you know, down or what, whatever words are that they like to throw <laugh> at their dog in those situations. And they're combining it with physical touch from their hands. Um, and it just isn't effective. In fact, it's a very counterproductive thing to do.

Uh, the other thing they will sometimes do is actually just really caress the dog. Like they really get in there and just start petting the dog, in which case, obviously we have a real problem. Um, because now the dog really is just reaping exactly the reward that they wanted, um, and getting that satisfaction and that affection.

Um, and it, it's more than that too. It's not just that the dog is getting a reward, um, right? So that sort of a gross oversimplification of what's happening, but you're really nurturing that state of mind. You're really encouraging the behavior, the state of mind, the anxiety, um, the arousal, all the stuff that might be mixed up in that behavior in that moment. Um, you're really, really nurturing that and encouraging more of that and enabling your dog to continue being that way and not being their best selves, their best selves. So, uh, super counterproductive obviously, and I just, I see it so, so, so much.

05:00 — Touching or soothing a jumping dog can reinforce its anxiety, arousal, and overall state…

So you might be thinking, okay, well what do I do then? <laugh>, you know, let's stick with jumping as the example for now. Um, but you could apply this really to any behavior, but obviously we see it a lot with the jumping, um, because the dog is obviously in your space and on you and you end up touching it.

Um, so if you, you know, if you don't want your dog to jump, then you should have a very clear marker to mark that behavior when they do it. The easiest thing to do is to use the word no. That's what we use here at the training center. You say no, the moment your dog jumps and then you follow that no, with a tangible negative consequence. And this just blows people's minds, it baffles them. And it, honestly, it doesn't matter how many times I give the instructions or how detailed I am, people still won't do it.

<laugh>, not everybody. Um, I have obviously a lot of very successful clients, um, but I also have a lot of clients that just really struggle with this. And sometimes it's because, um, they feel guilty and, you know, I don't wanna say they're not on board with it again, like most of them are gonna tell you, they know that I'm right and they know that this information is accurate, but they just struggle to do it because they have, you know, mom guilt or whatever.

Um, people feel bad, we're human. So, you know, people won't do it for that reason. Or, uh, the other thing is humans are just really, really bad at not overcomplicating things and, and executing things and following instructions precisely. So it's a very, very simple process. It almost never changes. Um, but people still usually are not doing it correct, and so they're not reaping the benefits of it. So it's really important that you mark it with a no when it happens, and then you follow up after your no, with the tangible negative consequence that your dog really dislikes.

The most practical thing to do is to just use an eco guys, put an e-collar on your dog, turn it up, give him a high tap after you say, no, that's it. Okay? That's, that's literally it. That's all you have to do. Yes, you're probably gonna have to do it more than once.

Yes, you're gonna have to do it in different scenarios so they know that this same thing is going to apply to other people, right? But you're not gonna have to do it many times if you're doing it correctly after a few times, your dog is gonna go, well, I guess I just don't jump on people anymore. And it is that simple. I'm not oversimplifying this, okay? But the affection piece and the touching or even talking, so dog jumps on people, they make eye contact, they start touching it or talking to it, and it's just not, it's not productive.

08:00 — Consistent consequences can teach a dog that jumping on people is no longer acceptable.

It's not gonna get you where you want to go. So those are mixed messages. So you're keeping yourself really, really stuck. So you can see how the advice I just gave about saying no, following it with a tangible negative consequence. How clear is that? How clear is that compared to touching with your hands and just saying off?

Okay? And you shouldn't need a command to tell your dog to get off you because you wanna stop the jumping in the first place, <laugh>, okay? So stop giving your dog those mixed messages. Um, you know, another example is not having any accountability for obedience command. So teaching your dog how to do things, but then never really expecting it from them. I mean, that in and of itself is a mixed message, right? When we start teaching duration and teaching dogs to hold their down, if I have a customer who puts their dog in a down and then their dog just gets up in a couple of minutes and starts wandering around, you gotta, you gotta go after that.

You gotta follow through. So your whole day and what happens and how you handle these things goes into the file in your dog's brain, that file that determines like how they view you, how relevant you are, how important it is that they listen.

Um, and that's a, that's a mixed message. It's like, well, sometimes I enforce things, sometimes I don't, right? And everyone worries about their dog being confused. And I think it's so funny because this is the thing that's gonna confuse your dog <laugh>, right? If you, if you don't want to confuse your dog, then be consistent about your consequences. And when I say consistent about your consequences, I don't mean the consequences are always the same, but I mean, you always provide an appropriately negative consequence for failure to comply with a command that the dog knows and that, you know, they know and they've had rehearsals.

That's important. We don't wanna be correcting dogs for things that they don't know how to do yet. Um, but those are all mixed messages, guys, dare I say, one of the things I think most people are missing is that they don't understand that the messages they convey to their dog are largely physical messages that are conveyed through the physical.

Yes, you can convey something verbally, but in order to do that, you have to attach something physical. That's how that works, right? So when I say like, sit or down, I'm communicating something to the dog, but I have attached a physical behavior to it. So there's always something physical. So if you're gonna say no to your dog, there has to be something physical attached to that word, otherwise it's just noise, right? So leash handling is a good example of that as well. So I see people passive leash handling all the time. So there'll be yapping away at their dog and saying things and talking to them, right?

11:00 — Verbal commands communicate expectations only when paired with a physical behavior or consequence.

They might have a dog that pulls them over to something they wanna smell or to another dog, or maybe they have a dog that puts on the breaks and doesn't wanna walk, uh, whatever the case may be. And the person's talking away, but their leash says, this is fine. They don't control the situation, they don't provide any feedback through their leash, any direction through their leash, any expectations through their leash.

They just sort of stand there hanging on, letting the dog do their own thing. There's nothing being physically conveyed through that leash, and that gets in everybody's way. So almost everyone needs help with that when I first meet them. So, and it is a skillset, it's something you need to, first of all be aware of and then learn how to do it. And it's not hard. It just takes a little rehearsal and you have to obviously have the knowledge, but if you're a passive leash handler, it doesn't matter what you're saying, right? And if it's a situation where you're getting upset or frustrated, right?

Your tone starts to convey that you're a little irritated, you're angry, you're losing your patience, right? Your dog might pick up on that and go, oh gosh, you know, mom, mom or dad's getting a little upset. Um, but your leash says this is fine. Those are mixed messages, <laugh>. So you gotta be really clear about what's okay and what's not okay. And the way we do that is with appropriate physical communication. That's not to say you can't use anything verbal, but verbal things are not going to be obvious to your dog. You have to tie them to something, right?

So normally we develop a very limited verbal language with the dog. We use single individual words and we attach meanings to them. So just yapping at your dog isn't helpful. Um, but communicating to your dog and controlling things with your leash is helpful.

So stop sending your dog mixed messages. Learn how to avoid touching, talking eye contact in context where your dog is doing something unwanted, right? Especially if they're whining, anxious, nervous, jumping. Don't soothe your dog. Don't pet your dog. Don't touch your dog. Guys, don't touch him. It's not a good time to touch him. If your dog is doing something unwanted when they're on the leash or they're controlling the walk,

14:00 — When dogs are nervous, jumping, or controlling walks, owners should stop soothing and use…

Stop talking to your dog and learn how to control things with your leash. Put a prong collar on your dog. Learn how to use it, okay? So you can give your dog information so you can disagree with things, so you can give them guidance and stop telling your dog that their behavior is perfectly fine. Because even though that might not be what you're thinking, and it might not be what you're saying verbally, physically, it is absolutely what you're saying. Alright guys, pay attention to those scenarios where you think you're sending your dog those mixed messages and get that stuff cleaned up.

I look forward to next time.