Consultation Files: My Daughter Is Taking Her Badly Behaved Emotional Support Dog to College
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In this Off Leash and Unfiltered consult, Kati Peppe—owner of Diamond K9 Dog Training in Biddeford, Maine—talks through a common modern dilemma: a small, adored ESA dachshund that barks when left alone, fights nail trims, sleeps in bed, and ignores commands around distractions—yet is slated to live in a college dorm. Kati explains why ESAs aren’t service dogs, why the “all-softness” relationship backfires, and how structure (crate/place/leash), clear teaching, and real accountability can stabilize the dog if the whole family—especially the college-bound teen—commits to the plan.
Episode Highlights
- ESA ≠ service dog: No task training or public access; campus life demands quiet, crate skills, and reliability.
- Symptoms stacking: Separation-barking, “demon” nails, bed-sleeping, and zero reliability outside—classic over-bonded pet dynamics.
- Timing is critical: At ~1 year, new problems can “bloom”; fix patterns before maturity locks them in.
- Structure first: Crate/place/leash remove rehearsals and rebalance the relationship.
- Accountability makes it stick: Clear No → meaningful consequence turns obedience from optional to non-negotiable.
- Family buy-in or bust: If the handler (teen) won’t enforce rules, training money and progress evaporate.
- Reality check for kids: Consequences shape behavior for dogs (and humans); “unpleasant ≠ bad” when it creates functional outcomes.
Minute-by-Minute Breakdown
- 00:29 – Who we are: Diamond K9; off-leash obedience & behavior modification.
- 01:22 – The case: tiny dachshund, big personality—and big issues at home.
- 02:34 – Barking when left alone; over-attachment from bed-sleeping & constant affection.
- 03:32 – Obedience works inside, collapses outside; distractions = amnesia.
- 05:03 – ESA vs. service dog; why the ESA relationship often becomes lopsided and fragile.
- 06:09 – “No punishment = worst version of the dog”; how softness alone unravels behavior.
- 07:05 – Urgency at the ~1-year mark: behaviors “blossom” with maturity.
- 08:02 – Goal: prevent the worst case by changing patterns now.
- 08:56 – Training outline: rebalance headspace; structure + accountability.
- 09:52 – Concern: college-bound teen may resist rules (no bed, crate use, real consequences).
- 10:58 – If the handler won’t commit, don’t take the program—avoid wasting money.
- 11:50–13:46 – Culture’s “unpleasant = bad” myth vs. reality: consequences enable mental/behavioral health.
- 15:11 – Discouraging behaviors physically without harm is necessary and humane.
- 16:00–17:08 – Families often cancel when teens won’t accept accountability.
- 18:34–19:36 – Paradox: dogs most attached to a person typically listen least (and bite more in grooming).
- 20:24 – Parent leadership: make the teen responsible for standards, payment, and follow-through.
- 21:15–22:59 – Consequences shape all human behavior, too; apply the same logic to dog training.
- 24:24–27:56 – Parenting piece: align the household; undermining = lost progress and safety risks.
- 29:08–30:34 – If a family member won’t follow rules, limit their access—or the dog can’t stay.
- 32:13–32:29 – Final charge: train the dog and the family; enforce rules 100% for real change.